Finals exam: It’s time to pick the champions

It’s PIAA championship week, which also happens to be when The Fumbler visits the doctor for his yearly checkup.

Call it his finals exam. Did you know The Fumbler once considered going to medical school? He wanted to become a surgeon, but was afraid he wouldn’t make the cut.

The Fumbler’s doctor is pretty funny. When they sat down to discuss the Fumbler’s health, they began joking about the sutures The Fumbler got from an accident cutting a tomato last month. The doctor told him a joke. He was in stitches.

By the way, did you hear about the conversation between the brain surgeon and the anesthesiologist? It was mind numbing.

The Fumbler is happy to say he was given a clean bill of health. He has been having problems sleeping every now and then, but the good doc said it probably has to do with his excitement for high school football. By next week, The Fumbler should be sleeping like a baby, the doctor said.

As The Fumbler walked out of the examination room, the doctor told him that there was a patient in another room who told the nurse he’s invisible. The doctor then said to the nurse, “Well, just tell him I can’t see him right now.”

The Fumbler will be here all week.

Be sure to follow The Fumbler on Twitter — @FumblerPG

The Fumbler went 8-4 in his semifinal picks and heads into the weekend with an overall record of 556-141 (.797).

Here are his PIAA championship picks. (All games played at Hersheypark Stadium) …

Class 6A

Harrisburg (13-1) vs. St. Joseph’s Prep (12-0), 6 Saturday — As the late Dennis Green said about the Chicago Bears, the St. Joseph’s Prep Hawks “are who we thought they were.” And that’s very good. St. Joe’s handled Pine-Richland fairly easily in the semifinals. By the way, Green attended John Harris High School, which merged with William Penn in 1972 to form Harrisburg High School. How’s that for a unique nugget of info? Winner: St. Joseph’s Prep.

Class 5A

Penn Hills (15-0) vs.

Manheim Central (14-0), 7 Friday — After chopping down Archbishop Wood in the semifinals, Penn Hills will try to steamroll Manheim Central in the championship. To be honest, Penn Hills would be more than happy if it wins by just one point. The Indians are trying to win their second PIAA title and first since beating District 3 champ Lower Dauphin in 1995. They’ll face another District 3 champion in the final 23 years later. Winner: Penn Hills.

Class 4A

Erie Cathedral Prep (123) vs. Imhotep Charter (112), 7 Thursday — These two again? The players may go to schools 400 miles apart, but some probably know each other on a first-name basis. The Ramblers and Panthers are meeting in the final for the fourth consecutive year. Imhotep took down Prep in 2015, but Prep beat Imhotep in 2016 and 2017. The Fumbler picked against Prep the past two weeks. He won’t do it again. Winner: Cathedral Prep.

Class 3A

Aliquippa (13-1) vs. Middletown (13-1), noon Saturday — 1991. 2003. 2018? OK, Quips, do you want to be known as one of the best teams to ever put on an Aliquippa uniform? Win Saturday and you earn the right to be in the conversation. Aliquippa, which has won more WPIAL titles than any school, will try to win its third PIAA title. Ty Law led the 1991 team to glory. Darrelle Revis was the big star on the 2003 team. M.J. Devonshire, it’s your turn. Winner: Aliquippa.

Class 2A

Wilmington (13-1) vs. Southern Columbia (15-0), 1 Friday — Props to Wilmington, which made a thunderous statement when it handedly defeated Steel Valley in the semifinals. As for its hopes of beating Southern Columbia? Let’s just say there’s a better chance the team bus gets hit by lightning on the way to the game. Is it possible? Sure. But it’s going to take a lot to take down the Tigers, who have won all of their games by at least 25 points. Winner: Southern Columbia.

Class 1A

Farrell (15-0) vs. Lackawanna Trail (14-1), 1 Thursday — The Fumbler really likes this Farrell team. He knows that if these Steelers take a 23-7 halftime lead, they’re not going to cough it up. Speaking of that, it’s going to take The Fumbler a while to forget about that loss. He owes his cousin, The Dribbler, a steak dinner because of it. This Farrell squad is tougher than a $2 steak. The Steelers are hungry to win their first PIAA title since 1996. Time to eat. Winner: Farrell.