Mother and child reunion (is only an emotion away)
In his 1862 novel “Les Miserables,” Victor Hugo wrote “The arms of mothers are made of tenderness; in them children sleep profoundly.” A mother’s love is one of the most exalted types of love: intended to be boundless, unconditional and unwavering. While for many mothers that may be true, it is also a tremendously heavy expectation, and there are women who do not experience that depth of love for their children — or, perhaps, they don’t experience any love at all.
In “The Face Tells the Secret,” the new novel from Jane Bernstein, the specter of an unloving, narcissistic mother looms large over the narrative. Ms. Bernstein’s story of an adult woman grappling with the legacy of her mother’s emotional abuse is a textured portrayal of the residual effects of the denial of parental love, particularly how that lack may be internalized by children as a belief that there is something damaged or unloveable about themselves. That internalized narrative can follow a victim into adulthood, coloring their understanding of interpersonal relationships and self-worth.
Roxanne Garlick is a divorced graphic designer whose widowed elderly mother, Leona, abruptly moves to Israel to live out the rest of her life. While the move puzzles Roxanne, since Leona has never previously displayed any attachment to her Jewish heritage, she proceeds with her own life, moving to Pittsburgh and only speaking to her formidable and unaffectionate mother occasionally.
After Roxanne’s estranged boyfriend flies Leona to Pittsburgh for a surprise birthday party, she is dismayed by how much Leona has deteriorated mentally. Leona insists upon returning home, though, and Roxanne accompanies her back to Tel Aviv in the hope that she will be able to secure medical assistance for her ailing mother. The trip begins a chain of events that ultimately leads Roxanne to discover the existence of a profoundly disabled sister, Aviva, who also lives in Israel: this revelation upends her understanding of her parents, their marriage and her childhood.
“The Face Tells the Secret” is less a family drama than an examination of the long-lasting effects of emotional abuse. As Roxanne relates her childhood, her mother’s domineering takes precedence; Leona tells her “no one will ever love you” in passing as a child, among other casual insults, and her cool, unaffected demeanor while saying it makes it sound like a statement of fact. The result is that Roxanne spends a great deal of her adult life trying to strike a balance between wanting to be loved — a near-universal human condition — and feeling that she is undeserving of love — a state of mind all too common for anyone raised by a parent with a personality disorder.
The sudden appearance of Aviva forces Roxanne to reevaluate her conceptualization of herself. Her mother’s disinterest in motherhood is reflected in Roxanne’s fiercely guarded sense of independence; Aviva’s need for constant care is in direct conflict with that independence, though, and Roxanne begins to contemplate what it means to be a caregiver, and what form that care may take moving forward.
Although it may sound trite, “The Face Tells the Secret” is, at its core, a story about a woman learning to love herself, as well as others. In this case, however, self-love is less about confidence and more about understanding that while one’s past has an immeasurable effect on how one moves in the world, that doesn’t mean that personalities and worldviews stay completely static. Roxanne is, in her own eyes, responsible for her mother’s disdain, and she feels unable to truly care for someone else in a meaningful way — until her world changes, and she finds that her narrative is her own, not Leona’s, and her reclamation of her sense of self is both devastating and life-affirming.
Ms. Bernstein’s preternaturally skilled portrayal of a woman coming to terms with her childhood abuse will touch readers lucky enough to have grown up without that legacy, and will validate and encourage readers who have survived similar circumstances. It is a painful truth that not every child grows up knowing the bottomless depth of a mother’s love — but as “The Face Tells the Secret” reminds us, that lack is not what defines a person: only the survivor has the power to define themself.