The global freakout
There are still greater concerns than COVID-19
One of the best lines Rudyard Kipling ever wrote fits the current moment a bit too well: “If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you… .”
Almost “all” do seem to be losing their heads as the coronavirus spreads. I understand the run on hand sanitizers, but when you can’t buy much of anything at the local grocery?
“This virus has infected .000018% of the world population! We’d better stock up on bacon!”
No one is blaming me — and likely never will, because no one will follow my advice — but there will be plenty of blame to dole out when the dust settles. Let’s hope it’s not the dust from Western civilization’s collapse.
Those who felt bemused watching the hysteria begin must now be flatout stunned. I am. The most threatening contagion is not the virus, but irrational fear of it. The rolling freakout is almost enough to turn me into a conspiracy theorist.
By Friday morning, there were about 135,000 reported cases of the COVID-19 variant of the not-new coronavirus; fewer than 5,000 had ended in death. The world population is 7.8 billion. While fast-spreading illness is cause for caution, it is not necessarily cause for alarm. Every death is a loss to be mourned, but the numbers simply do not warrant worldwide meltdown.
By now, though, we are used to situations of grave importance in which facts are largely irrelevant. This time around, it doesn’t seem to matter how the virus is spread, who is at great risk or low, whether severe measures are needed, or whether the benefit of those measures warrants the long-term cost.
The only place a draconian response strikes me as reasonable is the travel industry. Then again, I’ll never understand why people go on cruises; a four-hour flight is a big enough roll of the dice for me. Because sharing confined quarters and stale air with strangers of varying health is always a gamble, it makes sense that travel is now curtailed. And it’s admirable that airline CEOs would voluntarily embrace pay cuts in their faltering sector.
At this moment, though, little else in the international response to COVID-19 seems rational. Because so much of what’s going on ranges from reactionary to downright crazy, I’m gonna wade right in there with my own unresearched ideas and half-baked theories. Can’t hurt, right?
As a person possessing virtually no practical skills, I long ago understood that, in the event of catastrophe, I’d be the first person in the village to starve. Should I lose my glasses, once the disposable contacts run out, I’d make a very easy target for the cannibals of the zombie apocalypse.
(Yes, I took to heart the lessons of “The Twilight Zone” and Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road.”)
In the halcyon 1990s, the worst crises I could imagine were things like a car breaking down, plumbing woes, lingering illness and legal trouble. Every family should therefore have a mechanic, a plumber, a medical professional and a lawyer. Problems solved.
But the new millennium brought savage terrorism and endless war. Doomsday prepping became a major industry. We suddenly realized that if a rogue state took out a communications satellite or two and “the grid” went down, there’d be no way to transport food or run water treatment plants.
We now face a pandemic that is occasionally fatal. If we can’t act logically and quarantine the people most likely to suffer (the elderly, the sick), then we should quarantine the people who’ll be able to restore civilization, post-crisis.
Somebody needs to remember how to do clean water, grow food and make electricity.
As you can tell, I can’t do any of those things, so when it comes to preserving humanity, I’m expendable.
When it comes to preserving me, though? I’m just gonna continue my normal routine while avoiding modern life’s real hazards: drunk drivers, cellphone obsessives and the flu.