After staying with me, my friend apparently stole my credit card info

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A longtime friend stayed with me for two days, part of which time was spent alone in my home. Shortly after he left, three fraudulent charges were flagged by my credit card company in the small country of his origin.

It is a huge coincidence. I suspect my friend obtained my credit card information and forwarded it to contacts in that country. The amounts were less than $100 each and were taken care of by the credit card company, but my suspicion remains.

How can I deal with the situation so that the friendship remains as trusting as before?

GENTLE READER: Sorry, but which part was the huge coincidence? That your friend had contacts in his country and that he also knew how to reach them?

Miss Manners hates to ruin a friendship, but she is hard-pressed to find a plausible explanation for this — or a reason that you would trust him in the future.

Still, you could try: “I don’t know how this happened, but somehow there were charges from Liechtenstein on my card, and I’ve never been there. Someone must have mistaken my credit information for yours. Perhaps you can help me figure out what happened — and make recommendations for how to fix it the next time you stay.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a college professor and consider it important to treat all of my students with respect and proper etiquette. Because I cannot always correctly guess someone’s gender from their name or appearance, I ask students to write down their gender, along with other information such as nicknames and why they are taking the class, at the beginning of the semester so I can use the correct pronouns.

One student indicated “gender-neutral” and expressed a preference for being referred to by genderneutral pronouns (ze, zir, etc.), which I am happy to do. But how do I greet the group of students at the beginning of class? Normally, I would say “ladies and gentlemen,” but I do not wish to exclude this student or to call undue attention to zir by adding a third option. What would you recommend?

GENTLE READER: “Good morning.” Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.