Caller ID issues not easily solved
I am a deaf individual, and therefore, my husband is my communicator. Whenever I interact with businesses and anticipate being called by them in the future (to schedule an appointment, etc.), I always ask if their business name comes up on the caller ID. It surprises me that most receptionists do not know. They tell me to look for their number on the caller ID, and they leave it at that, leaving me stumped.
As a reminder, in this day and age, we receive a lot of unsolicited calls with bogus numbers and no names. We do not answer the phone. If it’s important enough, the caller will leave a message. Then my husband listens to all our messages, returns calls and clears out the messages.
My best advice for all businesses, of any kind: Please have your company name come up on caller ID. This will avoid much confusion, blame and wasted time.
GENTLE READER: Reasonable as it is of you to hope that callers will identify themselves properly, the best antidote to confusion and blame is to assume good intentions. That, and remembering that you and your husband are not the only parties to your call.
Miss Manners is not suggesting that someone is listening in, only that the telephone company, your telephone manufacturer and any number of other participants have a say in how caller ID identifies a caller.
The receptionist does not tell you what will appear on your screen when receiving a call because he or she does not, and likely cannot, know. If you will agree not to criticize her for not being up on the latest technology, Miss Manners will ask to leave a message when she does not reach you on the first try.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My girlfriend always gets offended when I put hot sauce on food she cooks. She says it is “trailer-trashy.” I personally love hot sauce and do not see the issue. Can you tell me if I am showing bad dinner etiquette by eating her food with hot sauce on it?
GENTLE READER: At family meals, hot sauce — reasonably applied and preferably after first tasting the dish — is allowed by etiquette, if not by proud chefs.
The problem is how to get it onto your food without escalating the disagreement. (Miss Manners presumes — hopes — that the lady did not start out by calling you offensive names but only resorted to it out of frustration that you were not listening. This would be an explanation, not an excuse, for her poor behavior.)
The solution is to derail the conflict by inventing something about which you can reach a compromise. Admit that you realize that having the hot sauce bottle on the table is, indeed, poor manners, which you would like to correct by having a dish to put it in. You hope that she will then agree to overlook your weakness for a little extra spice in your life.
Failing that, you could offer to bring the filled plates to the table while her attention is elsewhere.