Children’s book relays message of friendship after shooting
Imagine wanting to complete an important task but not having the ability to do it because of personal limitations when, unexpectedly, a friend offers assistance.
But why would that person volunteer to help?
Because that’s what friends do. “That’s What Friends Do” is also the title of a recently published children’s book by Cantor Steven Stoehr that aims to instill the importance of being a helpful and caring friend in addition to accepting those who are different in the wake of the Oct. 27, 2018, massacre at Tree of Life synagogue.
“It wasn’t so much that I wanted to teach kids about the sad massacre in Pittsburgh and the pain of that,” Mr. Stoehr said in a phone interview. “I wanted to take the necessary message of that day and try to spread tolerance and peacefulness.”
Mr. Stoehr, 60, a Squirrel Hill native, has family ties to Tree of Life, but he was never a member himself. Still, he was devastated after the synagogue was attacked and wanted to do some sort of gesture
in response. He first wrote a song using his skills as a cantor, but he felt it wasn’t enough.
“So I was like, ‘Well, how about a children’s book?’” he said. “How about a message that might have some seedlings of potentiality to reach younger children so that [in the future] we don’t have to worry about the things we worry about, integrating of our communities and our faiths and so forth.”
The book tells the story of an anthropomorphic Torah that was injured in the mass shooting who befriends a mantle, or Torah cover, that was gifted to the synagogue following the attack. The Torah tells the mantle it wants to share its story with the world so that people learn to be nicer to each other, but the slow-healing injury leaves the scroll unable to travel.
The mantle then offers to go in place of the Torah. When the Torah asks the mantle why it would make that incredible effort, it responds: “That’s what friends do.”
“The plot is really to cement home that idea that you don’t have to live life alone, you don’t have to live life only limited to your own abilities — you can rely on other people,” Mr. Stoehr said. “It’s sort of an ode to Mister Rogers. It’s everything that he ever taught all of us: be nice to each other, be helpful, be a friend.”
The story is based on true events.
In April 2019, Mr. Stoehr led a group from the international Cantors Assembly in gifting Tree of Life a specially designed mantle for a Torah scroll that had been damaged by gunfire during the shooting. Since then, the mantle has been sent to communities around the United States and Canada as a centerpiece for educational events.
“It went to Maryland and Minneapolis and Canada and California, and we still want it to happen now, especially with the book,” Mr. Stoehr said. “All of that did happen, and I would hope that it will continue to happen.”
The travels of the Torah mantle have stopped because of the COVID-19 pandemic, but Mr. Stoehr believes the tour will continue when the virus is under control. He said he hopes that teachers or parents around the country will find the book and plan an event with the mantle in their communities.
The book was illustrated by Amber Leigh Luecke and includes a blank outline of the mantle at the end, where children are encouraged to create their own Torah cover. Kids can take a photo of their drawing and send it to Mr. Stoehr to receive a pin of the mantle in return.
Mr. Stoehr worked with artist Jeanette Kuvin Oren to create the real-life mantle, which includes 25 white stars representing the first responders on the morning of the attack and 11 black and gold stars representing those who were killed that day.
Although Mr. Stoehr has now lived outside of Pittsburgh longer than he lived here, he remains deeply connected to his hometown.
He attended Hillel Academy and graduated from Allderdice High School. He follows the Steelers religiously. He recalls eating Mineo’s pizza and singing in the Congregation Beth Shalom choir with the legendary Cantor Moshe Taube. Coincidentally, he is now cantor at Congregation Beth Shalom in Northbrook, Ill., about 40 minutes north of Chicago.
Mr. Stoehr also happened to know Rabbi Jeffrey Myers of Tree of Life/Or L’Simcha years before the rabbi came to Pittsburgh. Mr. Stoehr and Rabbi Myers, who spent much of his career as a cantor before becoming a rabbi, were both members of the Cantors Assembly.
Rabbi Myers, who survived the shooting, said the book was “a wonderful way to tell the story in an age-appropriate manner.”
“I think it’s really important that there is literature out there for children to read to help them on a level that they can understand cope with the gravity of some of the horrific things that happen in life,” Rabbi Myers said. “I know there are really good books out there for children to deal with death, but in something of this scope, when you’re talking massacres in the United States, how do you help children deal with it? So Steve did a wonderful thing.”
“That’s What Friends Do” is available for $17.95 on Amazon, and all profits will go to Tree of Life/Or L’Simcha.
“So I was like, ‘How about a children’s book? How about a message that might have some seedlings of potentiality to reach younger children so that [in the future] we don’t have to worry about the things we worry about, integrating of our communities and our faiths and so forth.’ ” — Steven Stoehr, author of “That’s What Friends Do”