It’s a big dill ... Week 0 kicks off high school season
The Fumbler found himself in a pickle last Friday night.
Actually, not just one, but several. He was a regular Peter Piper, but no relation to Peter Parker. All that was missing was him picking a peck of pickled peppers.
It all started when your favorite prognosticator showed up at the Wolvarena expecting to watch a couple of Week 0 football games. But guess what? No one was there. Why? Because there were no games. The Fumbler mistakenly thought the season started Aug. 20, not Aug. 27.
“This is a big dill,” The Fumbler said to himself as he pulled a pickle from the jar he brought with him. All he could do was shake his head and chalk it up to getting old. Maybe his mind is catching up with his body. When he gets out of bed in the morning, he usually feels like he’s about 150 years old.
The pickle itself was tasty, but the pickle The Fumbler found himself in was anything but sweet. It was a Friday night in late August and watching high school football games is The Fumbler’s bread and butter. This wasn’t kosher.
Luckily, the timing of this couldn’t have been any better. As The Fumbler left Turtle Creek, he spotted a billboard promoting Picklesburgh, the event that proclaims itself as “the destination for all things pickled.”
Hey, how does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
The Fumbler relished every moment he spent at Picklesburgh. He ate pickles, including a chocolate covered pickle-on-a-stick. He met the Vlasic stork. It was a night he will not soon forget.
High school football does officially return this Friday, and The Fumbler can’t wait.
For now, he’ll leave you with this: What’s a pickle’s favorite show? Dill or No Dill.
Follow The Fumbler on Twitter — @FumblerPG
Here are his thoughts on this weekend’s top games:
Moon at Seneca Valley, 7:30 Friday — Moon has been in the news a lot recently. If it’s not Jeff Bezos talking about it, it’s NASA. The Fumbler would love to visit the moon one day. For now, he’ll settle for going to a Moon game. This is a super intriguing inter-classification matchup. Seneca Valley has a new OC (former Pine-Richland OC Ryan Lehmeier) and is breaking in a new QB. It’s Week 0 and Moon has more back, so edge to the Tigers. Winner: Moon.
Central Catholic vs. Imhotep Charter at the Wolvarena, 8 Friday — This game has The Fumbler thinking about pancakes. You can’t spell Imhotep without IHOP. And with this being a Pittsburgh team against a Philly team, remember … Sheetz is better than Wawa. Pittsburgh team in a tight one. Winner: Central Catholic.
Greensburg Central Catholic at Upper St. Clair, 7 Friday — The Fumbler has seen some bizarre things in his day. Class 5A USC hosting Class 1A GCC is high on the list. If GCC would defeat USC, where would it rank among greatest upsets ever? Above
Buster Douglas beating Mike Tyson? Higher than “Miracle on Ice,” too? The Fumbler definitely thinks so. It won’t happen, but kudos to GCC for playing the game in the first place. Winner: Upper St. Clair.
Pine-Richland vs. Harrisburg at the Wolvarena, 4:30 Saturday — The last time Pine-Richland lost a game, COVID-19 wasn’t even a thing. The only pandemic any of us knew about we either saw in a movie or heard mentioned in history class. Like Dodge trucks, Pine was “Ram Tough” in 2020, going 11-0 and winning a state title. With a new coach and playing a perennially strong Harrisburg team, will the Rams be able to dodge an opening loss? Winner: Pine-Richland.
And the rest (home teams in capital letters):
Friday night
NON-CONFERENCE — Albert Gallatin over YOUGH; NORTH ALLEGHENY over Allderdice; WHEELING CENTRAL CATHOLIC, W.VA. over Ambridge; Armstrong over FREEPORT; MAPLETOWN over Avella; MCKEESPORT over Baldwin; Sto-Rox over Bishop Sycamore, Ohio (at the Wolvarena); Blackhawk over BEAVER FALLS; KEYSTONE OAKS over Brentwood; Butler over KISKI AREA.
California over UNIONTOWN; CanonMcMillan over TRINITY; Carlynton over NORTHGATE; Central Valley over KNOCH; Gateway over Delaware Valley (at Bald Eagle Area); LATROBE over Derry; Elizabeth Forward over RINGGOLD; Fort Cherry over CHARTIERSHOUSTON; PETERS TOWNSHIP over Fox Chapel; HEMPFIELD over Greensburg Salem.
Hampton over VALLEY; Laurel Highlands over CONNELLSVILLE; Leechburg over JEFFERSONMORGAN; Ligonier Valley over INDIANA; McGuffey over SOUTHMORELAND; WASHINGTON over Monessen; Mt. Lebanon over BETHEL PARK; North Catholic over HOPEWELL; LAUREL over North East; North Hills over MARS.
PENN-TRAFFORD over Norwin; APOLLO-RIDGE over Our Lady of the Sacred Heart; Plum over FRANKLIN REGIONAL; BEAVER over Quaker Valley; SHADY SIDE ACADEMY over Riverview; NEW CASTLE over Shaler; South Fayette over MONTOUR; FREEDOM over South Side Beaver; DEER LAKES over Springdale; AVONWORTH over Summit Academy.
Union over MOHAWK; HIGHLANDS over University Prep; CARMICHAELS over Waynesburg; CAMERON, W.VA. over West Greene; CHARTIERS VALLEY over West Mifflin.
Saturday afternoon
NON-CONFERENCE – BISHOP CANEVIN over Frazier; New Brighton over WESTERN BEAVER; St. Vincent Pallotti, Md. over Sto-Rox (at the Wolvarena); SERRA CATHOLIC over South Allegheny.
Saturday night
NON-CONFERENCE – STEUBENVILLE CENTRAL CATHOLIC, OHIO over Carrick; NESHANNOCK over Shenango; Wayne Valley, N.J. over WOODLAND HILLS; Westinghouse over SETON LASALLE.