Best Buddies connects young friends who lift each other
‘you don’t have to be the same ...
Kaylee Rehak, a senior at Thomas Jefferson High School, is so proud of her friend, junior Ariann Downer, that she loves talking about her and promoting the program that brought them together. The girls belong to Best Buddies, an international program that empowers regular education students and intellectually and developmentally disabled students — with Down syndrome, autism, fragile X or Williams syndromes, cerebral palsy, traumatic brain injury — to become good friends and feel welcome and included in school and after-school activities.
Kaylee, president of the TJ chapter, is proud that TJ was named Best Buddies Chapter of the Month in March, which helped it spread the message of inclusivity and disability rights. “We have been working hard to find activities that will encourage more kids to be involved and we want our community to know that we care about each other,” she said.
The Best Buddies program was founded in 1989 by Anthony Kennedy Shriver “to foster one-to-one friendships between people with and without intellectual and developmental disabilities” or IDD. He began the program in colleges, and over the years, it expanded to all 50 states and 56 countries with four mission pillars: one-to-one friendships, integrated employment, leadership development and inclusive living for people with IDD.
Eight Pittsburgh colleges have Best Buddies programs, but the opportunities for one-to-one organic friendships are most likely found in high schools. In Pittsburgh, 29 high schools, 16 middle schools and 10 elementary schools participate in the program.
Most of the high schools have 15 to 50 members.
A Best Buddies school year begins each fall with a “match” meeting where students are paired according to their interests or desire to partner with a particular student. The Buddies agree to participate in activities during and after school, which keeps them busy.
Among this year’s in-school club events at TJ were cooking classes, holiday parties, crafts, gingerbread house making, birthday celebrations, physical education activities and a few fundraiser food sales.
Out-of-school club activities included hosting a spaghetti dinner, alumni bingo, a track event and homecoming carnival booth.
The club also encourages the pairs to keep in touch through calls, text messages and occasional lunches during school days.
Kaylee and Ariann have lunch together in the school
cafeteria a few times each week. Occasionally, during her life skills class time, Ariann helps Kaylee at her free period shift as barista at TJ’s Coffee Tree Roasters coffee shop.
Best Buddies partners also agree to get together at least monthly for fun time such as going out for ice cream, bowling or a movie. Sometimes they just visit in each other’s homes and talk. This spring, Kaylee and Ariann attended the TJ musical, “Legally Blonde,” together.
All Buddies bring their own skills and interests to the table. Ninth grader Cameron Skalos is a whiz at solving Rubik’s cube. He organized a competition, certain that he could beat anyone from the entire student body who entered. And he did with a time of 34 seconds.
The TJ peer Buddies (regular education students) also find ways to include the Buddies (IDD students) in regular school activities. For example, senior Graci Fairman, who is on the girls basketball team, recruited Ariann to be the manager of the team. “She never missed a practice or a game,” said her proud Buddy Kaylee. The basketball team rewarded Ariann with five minutes of playing time with them the last game of the season. She was thrilled.
“Ariann was fully committed to the basketball team — she taught me so much,” said Kaylee. “I have learned that although she has different abilities, she is just as special and kindhearted as any of the other kids.”
Bethel Park Buddies
On Sunday, April 23, clubs from all the other member high schools and colleges participated in the annual Best Buddies Friendship Walk at Highmark Stadium in Station Square.
Bethel Park students wore orange and black logo T-shirts and had a great time eating breakfast and lunch, mingling with students from other schools, dancing and participating in a yoga and Zumba exercise class on the turf. They invited friends from other schools to
stop by their table and make “friendship” bracelets.
On a group walk on the riverfront trail, Julie Heh walked with Lauren Wycinski. Both seniors, they have enjoyed all their group’s activities this year such as bowling, Halloween parties, a Thanksgiving “Friendsgiving” and an Easter egg hunt. They keep in touch during the school days. And on their special one-to-one days, they like to get ice cream, grab a bite at Eat’n Park, play mini-golf or go to a movie.
The two clearly like each other a lot — you can see it in their smiles. “She’s my Best Best Buddy,” Lauren said.
Just hanging around together and having friends like every other teen is what’s important to all the teenagers. “We just want to make sure that everyone is included. … Everyone should have a friend,” said Julie.
There’s work to accomplish and lessons to learn, too.
The Bethel Park faculty adviser, special education teacher Julie
Hernandez, says both the Buddies and the peer Buddies learn valuable social lessons.
“Learning to work with people who aren’t the norm is so important,” she said. So is seeing their friends as not having a disability “but a different ability.”
Best Buddies work on appropriate social behaviors such as verbalizing personal boundary preferences. For example, it’s OK to remind a friend that you don’t want to be touched or hugged, or that they need to be patient and wait their turn, or to not interrupt others when they are speaking.
A reporter covering the Best Buddy event quickly learned a boundary lesson when asking if a student would be willing to be photographed for this story. He declined, and his peer Buddy quickly came to his rescue, explaining, “He’s not into gettinghis picture taken.”
North Allegheny Kindness
Rachel Tengowski, a North Allegheny School District special education teacher, agreed with Mrs. Hernandez about the importance of possessing soft social skills. “Students get to practice their social skills with other students rather than having an adult tell them. You see their confidence build up and expand their circle.”
NA Best Buddies like to play video games, eat ice cream, watch movies, hike and one lucky pair even went horseback riding this year.
Students from various schools use the same words to describe their experience in the program — “welcoming,” “nonjudgmental,” “happy,” “belonging, “amazing,” “so much fun” — and say they plan to keep in touch this summer.
North Allegheny Intermediate High School 10th grader Madison Hartung said, “It helped me to open up my mind and heart. You don’t have to be the same to have a good relationship,”
Learn more about the program at bestbuddies.org.