GARFIELD’S GONE
Documentary rides Kennywood’s Old Mill through history
Adocumentary filmmaker with a keen eye for nostalgia set his sights on Kennywood’s Old Mill ride, releasing what may be the most definitive guide on the ride’s history to date — and it’s free to watch on YouTube.
Kevin Perjurer, creator of Defunctland, published an exhaustive history of the Old Mill this week on his popular YouTube channel celebrating offbeat and often run-down amusement park attractions. The documentary marks every high (and low) in the ride’s 121-year history, drawing on interviews with local historians and research at The Dark Ride Archive and the University of Pittsburgh Library archives.
After introducing viewers to Kennywood’s earliest days as a picnic area and trolley park overlooking the Mon Valley, the documentary discusses the origins of the Old Mill, one of the earliest mill-powered rides in the country and the longest continuously operating one. The Old Mill has gone through many phases and themes — from a Panama Canal overlay in 1914 that coincided nicely with the opening of the actual Panama Canal, to Rapid Gorge, to Fairyland Floats, to being completely rebuilt after a fire for the 1926 season.
The Old Mill became Hardheaded Harold’s Horrendously Humorous Haunted Hideaway in 1974, an Old West ghost town, and then Garfield’s Nightmare before returning to its original retro-western style just a few years ago.
In the end, the overlays and changing themes weren’t the biggest attraction for the couples riding into the darkness.
“It didn’t matter what the theme was. Anyone who rode that ride in the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s — they were not on that ride to look at the scenes,” said Andy Quinn, Kennywood’s director of community and government relations at the time.
Perjurer noticed, too. “In all of my research, I have never come across a ride in which major publications, journalists have reported consistently, constantly, on a ride’s reputation like the Old Mill at Kennywood,” he says in the video.
In 1984, the Pittsburgh Press did a feature on the ride’s steamy reputation. In the article, 61-year-old Ellen Ammon, recalling her Old Mill trips from the 1930s, said that boys would bring string onto the ride to brush along the necks of the girls. They’d convince them they were cobwebs and that there were “watersnakes” in the tunnels in hopes of getting a terrified cuddle. Some boats arrived at the end completely empty.
At one point in the 1960s, Kennywood employees were even given a plastic bat to swat riders who got too frisky. Though the bats were reportedly very effective, video cameras and a PA system eventually replaced them.
While working on the documentary, Perjurer also asked his audience on Twitter for Old Mill stories. He shared some of the highlights:
“Even though my ex-husband was a general disappointment in life, Garfield and I were both screaming by the end of that ride,” one woman wrote in an email.
Another claimed an older cousin had been conceived in one of the boats.
A phenomenon called “aerial dumps” was mentioned, but you’ll need to watch the video to understand exactly what that means.
Despite the leisurely ride’s notoriety for being a love tunnel, Defunctland focuses on, well, the defunct — which brings us to Garfield’s Nightmare, the infamous name of the Old Mill ride from 2003-2019. Based on the eponymous Jim Davis cartoon strip, the overlay featured images of the sarcastic feline and his doggy sidekick, Odie. The licensing deal with Jim Davis’ company allowed Kennywood to use Garfield and Odie as mascots — despite the fact that Kennywood already had Kenny the Kangaroo.
In a surprising twist, re-theming the ride as Garfield’s Nightmare came with a major setback: The boats’ limited capacity made popularity a liability rather than an end goal. Pete McAneny, former president of Kennywood Entertainment, said, “One of the things we had to do is not make it too spectacular.”
Working with a limited budget and the confusing directive to make sure it wasn’t too good, Kennywood embarked on a journey to create an experience both funny and terrifying while embodying the spirit of the Garfield cartoon strip. Oh, and make sure it’s navigable by boat.
Unsurprisingly, Garfield’s Nightmare soon turned into an actual nightmare. After it opened in 2004, the ride “developed a cult of hatred among park-goers,” Perjurer said. “It was too scary for many children, and too Garfield for many adults.”
A lack of upkeep also began affecting the ride. Screens stopped working, effects no
longer played and the neon paint faded — especially in the whites’ of characters’ eyes.
Despite all this, couples apparently continued their activities undeterred, under the reproachful gaze of a massive cartoon cat.
“Hearing people of many different generations share how this one ride impacted them was surprisingly moving,” Perjurer concluded.
“To hear stories of young angst, the nerves of going on the ride with someone they had a crush on, the scariness of having your first kiss. … For one rider who grew up in a small town, the dark tunnels of the attraction
were the first place he felt safe kissing his boyfriend. For a married couple, a trip on the Old Mill made them laugh and feel like they were in high school again. …
“Sometimes the most memorable experience one can have is getting a kiss while riding a boat through a dark tunnel, and, sometimes, it’s getting a kiss while in a boat in front of a neon Garfield.”