‘Women’s Way’
Pittsburgh mothers share their stories in film series
What could an Iraqi immigrant have in common with a transplant from Texas and Chicago? They’re both mothers who have had to overcome the struggles of raising children during a worldwide pandemic.
“Women’s Way: Stories of Motherhood in the Time of COVID” is a series of nine short films that tell the pandemic stories of Pittsburgh mothers. Seven are immigrants from places like Afghanistan and Iraq. A free screening and discussion is set for 1-3 p.m. July 10 at St. Nicholas Croatian Catholic Church, 24 Maryland Ave., Millvale (15209).
The project is part of a partnership between Sharing Our Story, a multimedia storytelling organization, and Hello Neighbor, a Pittsburgh refugee resettlement and support agency. The goal is to “build awareness and sensitivity to the difficulties that mothers faced in the darkest hours of the pandemic, both refugee and U.S.-born,” said Sally Rafson, the founder of Sharing Our Story (www.sharingourstory.com).
“The program is really about sharing stories and allowing us all to connect with each other in meaningful and culturally sensitive ways,” said Sloane Davidson, founder and CEO of Hello Neighbor (www.helloneighbor.io).
Mothers featured in the film include Tammy Griffin, Fakhiriya Hashemi, Dalal Klouwanli, Tahereh Hooshangi, Mawazo Kachale, Annette Zawadi, Marwa Alkhafaji and Kendall JamesDavis. Two of them agreed to share their stories with the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
Marwa Alkhafaji
Marwa Alkhafaji, who came here six years ago from Baghdad, Iraq, had to speak up during the interview to be heard over the noise of her two sons playing and her 9-month-old daughter babbling.
“They keep me busy,” she said, laughing.
In 2016, she left everything behind and started a new life in Upper St. Clair with her husband, Mohammed Alomairi, and their two boys.
“It was a very difficult decision,” she said. “We were alone at first, with no family or friends to support us, but at least we were away from war and safe. … At least my children were safe.”
She had lived all her life in Baghdad, where she obtained a computer science degree, worked as a programmer and was surrounded by family. She credits her mother for teaching her lessons of motherhood and for helping to raise her children.
“Everything was a little bit easier in Iraq with her next to me. … She taught me everything.”
The pandemic put new stressors on Mrs. Alkhafaji, who had to juggle pregnancy with taking care of the house, feeding her family, homeschooling her boys and obtaining her virtual degree. She studied information technology at the Community College of Allegheny County.
“I reached many points where all I wanted was for time to stop, and for me to get a chance to take a break,” she said. “But then I see the smiles on my children’s faces, and I decide to push through and keep going.”
Her biggest challenge was making sure that her boys, who were missing their school friends, remained active and kept up their studies during isolation. Homeschooling came naturally to Mrs. Alkhafaji, a longtime teacher who currently works as a substitute teacher.
“Seeing the fruits of my labor in their smiling innocent faces is priceless to me,” she said.
Although she acknowledges the isolation COVID-19 has brought, she still believes it “brought us together in a way. … We all had the same fears and goals. … We all feared for the safety of our loved ones and wanted this to be over.”
The pandemic reinforced the ties between families, especially hers.
“Family being together is the most important thing to me,” she said.
Kendall James-Davis
Kendall James-Davis was born in Texas and moved to Chicago to get her pre-med degree. She and her husband, Nathan, moved to Pittsburgh in 2018, the same year they had their first child, a son who is now 3 years old.
“He keeps me busy,” she said. “Being a mother is pretty much a full-time job.”
She says Pittsburgh has turned out to be a “great community to raise my kid in. We’ve just had a great, great experience so far, and there is just so much to do with kids here.”
One of her Crafton neighbors became the doula for her son’s birth.
“Our son was doing amazing in daycare, and I had finally gone back to work … and then suddenly, a global pandemic.
“It just was like a whole weird new level of stress that I was definitely not
prepared for,” she said.
Her background in public health meant she was “hypersensitive to everything” and “very concerned” for the safety of her family, Mrs. James-Davis said.
The first-time mother had to weigh every single opportunity against the potential of “exposing my son to COVID.”
Her hardships didn’t end there, as the pandemic years were also when she experienced the loss of her own mother, who taught her how to be a mom.
“I see myself doing a lot of what she did with me with my own son.”
“My mother was unapologetically herself, and just fiercely loving. … She always really wanted my siblings and I to know that, you know, we were loved,” she said.
Like her mother, she strives for quality time with her child, whose toys are scattered around the living room.
“I make a conscious effort to play with him as much as I can … not just put on a TV show and walk away. He loves his toys and I want to show him how much I love him.”