Even spinmaster NFL can’t make this feel right
Watson to finally make his debut for Browns, but how many really want to celebrate?
The NFL can package and present this particular December Sunday in any way it pleases — “Week 13” has a nice, generic feel to it — and there’s clearly no shortage of potential distractions: the Chiefs and Bengals meet in an AFC title game rematch, the Eagles and Vikings can clinch playoff reservations, and you might even scare up some intrigue on the question of whether the desultory Steelers can win for the third time in four weeks against the almost equally desultory Falcons.
But this Sunday is about none of those things.
It’s Deshaun Watson Week in the NFL, and it’s an ugly, ugly spectacle no matter how the league and its lawyers and broadcast partners try to frame it.
Watson makes his 2022 debut this weekend as the quarterback of the Cleveland Browns, a debut delayed 11 weeks by his suspension for sexual harassment and/or assault on dozens of massage therapists. It comes with a flourish of slapstick timing at the very spot on the schedule where the Browns visit the Houston Texans, the same outfit that traded him to Cleveland after the lawsuits started piling up in Texas and grand juries were being convened.
At least 10 of Watson’s accusers planned to attend Browns-Texas at midweek, and probably not to see if the Texans can improve to 2-9-1. I doubt they’ll be spotted in the owner’s box or get a lot of face time on CBS.
The Browns were virtually celebratory in anticipation, with running back Nick Chubb explaining to Ohio media: “He’s special. He’s a playmaker. He puts the ball exactly where he needs it to go. Guys like that. Guys are excited.”
Well, there’s a lot to be disgusted — I mean, excited — about, I guess.
Cleveland fans will finally get a look at what $230 million gets you in a quarterback, that figure representing the psychotic contract Browns ownership agreed to with Watson in the full knowledge that the man had more baggage than a cruise ship. With a gambit of Pro Bowl-level cynicism, the Browns even structured Watson’s deal so that the first year brought him only about $1 million on a contract that would average $46 million annually, in case he was suspended for a full season.
In the event you’ve cast from your consciousness the details of the Watson affair — sordid, salacious, legal, financial, administrative, contractual — here is the essential numerology:
25 – The number of suits filed against Watson by various massage therapists, 23 of which were settled by Watson and his attorneys, one of which did not go forward due to a technicality, another of which might still go to trial.
30 – The number of settlements agreed to by the Texans with message therapists for allegedly enabling Watson. Texans ownership’s statement read: “We were shocked and deeply saddened when we first learned of the allegations against our then franchise quarterback in March 2021. Although our organization did not have any knowledge of Deshaun Watson’s alleged misconduct, we have intentionally chosen to resolve this matter amicably. This is not an admission of any wrongdoing, but instead a clear stand against any form of sexual assault and misconduct.” Uh-huh.
6 – The number of weeks Watson was suspended originally by Sue L. Robinson, the NFL and NFL Players Association’s jointly appointed disciplinarian, who claimed she was handcuffed by previous NFL suspensions for “non-violent” misconduct.
5 – The number, in millions of dollars, Watson was fined as part of the settlement, supposedly to make the suspension sting a little. When you’ve got $229 million still on the way, $5 million is a mosquito bite.
1 – The number of additional women who came forward with similar allegations while Watson was serving his suspension.
11 – The number of weeks the league and the union eventually agreed Watson should be suspended. The NFL wanted him out for a full season, but the union reportedly deemed that a double standard given the fact that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger got only six weeks for violating the personal conduct policy in 2010 and that Patriots owner Robert Kraft got zero (0) weeks for being caught on tape soliciting or paying for sex acts at Orchids of Asia in Jupiter, Fla.
66 – The number of massage therapists Watson booked, according to Jenny Vrentas of the New York Times, from 2019-2021. This is probably not because he could not find one that he liked.
If the NFL is misogynistic at its core, the effort involved in disproving such notions is vastly evident. It revels in the way it attracts female fans and employs qualified women as on-field officials, scouts, coaches, and front office personnel. Some estimates put the percentage of female staff at the league office near 40%, some of whom are executives.
Had Watson been somebody’s backup left tackle, he’d have been banned indefinitely, but the NFL has shown us time and again that when it comes to marquee talent, it has no cultural standards or societal obligations. The physical and emotional suffering of Watson’s accusers means little next to a guy who puts the ball exactly where he needs it to go.
Watson has apologized but maintained his innocence. He spoke to the media Thursday but took no questions unrelated to, um, putting the ball exactly where it needs to go. Someone asked why he agreed to the 11-game suspension, anyway.
“I was just trying whatever I could do to play football in 2022,“he said. ”Most of the settlement stuff with the NFL was mostly my agency and legal team. I had no control.”
Just gonna leave that there.