Feeling dumb isn’t fun
Life lessons are delivered whether we want them or not. I prefer to handle them gracefully, but I’m frequently reminded of how much I don’t know. Some lessons are big like what do you say to the friend who just got their terminal cancer diagnosis.
Who wants to hear that they have three months to live? What do you say when they tell you? I felt dumb, and it wasn’t fun, but I took a deep breath, opened my mouth and prayed something helpful would come out.
Other lessons are small like how do I get my smart phone to give verbal directions in map function mode rather than blare the loudest song from my playlist when I’m lost and trying to navigate to an appointment? Surely it’s human error, but what magic button did I press last time that resolved this?
Life offers up an endless supply of lessons big, small and in between. Our job is to keep learning how to handle them. How do you patiently wait for an invitation to see the new grandson when your kids are very intentionally building their nuclear family bonds? How many Bitmoji text greetings show support and how many say meddling mother-in-law? Summer time for many teachers is about attending to the many aspects of life that were neglected while they were busily engrossed in teaching. It’s a time to tend to health, finances, paperwork, and deep smart folks know that all areas need consistent effort to be effectively maintained, but busy people prioritize and hope some areas can wait. When one area suddenly requires more attention, like a dying friend, other areas receive less time like cleaning house.
Regaining balance again can take some doing. The long awaited lazy days of summer seem to be careening past in a blur of activity as attempts are made to balance the many aspects of life that need attention.
We all intend to be fiscally responsible. Is it better to pay off debt with this chunk of change or, is it time to invest more in retirement? Sometimes the best answer is to call the expert. How do you move money from an underperforming investment to a more lucrative part of your portfolio? I called my financial planner only to find out... he died. But... he’s my age.
I met with the new guy who took over the old practice only to realize he’s a fast talker and we weren’t speaking the same language. I felt dumb... again, but after a deep breath and more questions, I kind of understood the basic gist, though I couldn’t explain it when I left. When the financial consultant assigned homework, I, like my students, got a bad case of the “I don’t wannas.”
Since smart investments are preferred, I admitted I still didn’t know enough and called another expert. I don’t like feeling dumb. I don’t want to need help. This sounds like a whining child who is avoiding homework. Why is it that we have to be grown up anyway?
Back when we were students in school learning new difficult concepts, we felt dumb for a bit, but then we took a deep breath, asked the next question of a teacher, friend, or parent and learned a new nugget of wisdom.
Learning is messy, but regardless of our age the school of life keeps offering up lessons. It appears that our job is to show up, do our best and let go of the rest. Remember to breath, acknowledge anxieties, manage insecurities and keep showing up to learn more life lessons. This appears to be our assignment.
It’s OK to feel dumb for a bit. There’s a lot we don’t know, but many we can learn from. The hope is that we gain some wisdom and compassion as we bravely motor ahead.