Man seems to be a friend only when he needs a hand
DEAR ABBY: My husband has been so-called friends with a man I’ll call “Roy” for almost 30 years. During the 23 years I have been in the picture, I have noticed their friendship seems one-sided.
We hear from Roy only when he’s down on his luck or needs help moving or lifting something. Last year he began dating someone new. Since this courtship began, Roy has changed his number at least four times, and each time, my husband has had to call around to get his supposedly best friend’s phone number.
Well, Roy proposed to this girlfriend. About a week later he texted my husband a photo of the ring with the caption: “She said yes, and you are the best man!” That was over a year ago. My husband still hasn’t met the fiancee. But other friends of theirs have been invited on outings and met her during the year.
I feel Roy is using my husband because he knows he makes decent money and can come through to fund all the best man duties. I don’t want my husband to keep playing the fool. Is this normal friend behavior? — PROTECTIVE IN MISSOURI
DEAR PROTECTIVE: No, it’s not. Your husband’s “best friend” appears to be a user. From where I sit, he is being treated more as a reliable resource than a friend, let alone a “best” friend. However, after 30 years, your spouse may be so accustomed to it that he doesn’t know the difference. How sad.
DEAR ABBY: A year ago I met the untouchable Ice Prince Charming and somehow managed to snatch him up a few months ago. But now that he has “defrosted” and we’re starting to settle into a relationship, I’m realizing that my “prince” is a bit too charming.
This may sound nuts, but I’m getting sick from all the sugary sweet affection all the time, and I can’t get him to answer anything for himself. It’s always, “It doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you. He won’t even let me compliment him.
We used to have intellectual arguments, dumb competitions, talk all night about fun things we wanted to do one day or just sit around and snark at each other when we weren’t going at our sometimes separate hobbies. I know all every girl wants is her boyfriend to be sweet, so why does it bother me? Am I crazy? How do I get my best friend back? — UNUSUAL JERSEY GIRL
DEAR JERSEY GIRL: Here’s how. Tell him exactly what you have told me. He may be love drunk, but if that doesn’t sober him up, then it may be time to find a prince who’s less charming and better suited to you.
DEAR ABBY: We are one of three couples who dine together at least once a week. We and one other couple are retired and on a fixed income. The third couple is also retired, but own many properties and have no money concerns. We like their company, but the wife is peculiar.
The other night we all had dinner together. When the server asked what she would like to drink, she inquired about how much the iced tea cost, and then said, “I’ll just have water!” Then she asked the server to bring her a bunch of lemons, squeezed them into her water and added sugar! We were so embarrassed we wanted to crawl under the table. How should we handle this behavior in the future? — FRUSTRATED IN THE DESERT
DEAR FRUSTRATED: Because the woman’s behavior makes you uncomfortable, perhaps you should dine with the couple less often. However, when someone is with friends who are on a fixed income and hands out $50 bills to perfect strangers — assuming “Lady Bountiful” hasn’t slipped a few cogs — the natural assumption is that she’s grandstanding. And that kind of behavior is rude and inconsiderate.