Expectant mother hasn’t told husband he’s not the father

DEAR ABBY: I am a mother of three and happily married to my kids’ father. I am now seven months pregnant with my fourth baby, but this child is not my husband’s. My husband is a loving man and a good father. My problem is, I don’t know how to tell him I’m not carrying his baby. The man I slept with is married and always saying he wants to marry me. He has one son with his wife. I love my kids, and I still love my husband. How can I tell him the truth without tearing my family apart? — BIG MISTAKE

DEAR BIG MISTAKE: Not knowing your husband, I can’t guess at how he will react when you break the news. I’m sure he won’t be pleased to hear it. Regardless, he must be told, so do it at a time when it’s calm and quiet and you can discuss it without your children running in and out. I am sure he will have many questions — among them, whether you plan to continue a relationship with the child’s father. (Does the man plan to be part of the baby’s life in years to come?)

Because this may have legal ramifications, discuss this with an attorney, who can guide you in case there may be visitation issues, custody problems, etc. lurking just beyond the horizon.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www. Dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.