Handy ad­vice and tips help girls sharpen so­cial skills

Porterville Recorder - - COMMUNITY-FAVORITES - Jeanne Phillips Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

DEAR ABBY: I en­joy read­ing your col­umn, es­pe­cially let­ters re­gard­ing young girls and their so­cial skills. I have two grand­daugh­ters who have the nor­mal drama, mostly with other girls. I worry their so­cial skills are get­ting side­tracked.

I am in­ter­ested in or­der­ing your book­let about pop­u­lar­ity. You have such a good way with words, and I’m sure the girls would find it help­ful and en­joy­able read­ing. They are the only grand­chil­dren I have, and I’m try­ing to give them in­sight and help them along to be­come fully func­tional, suc­cess­ful adults. Is it still avail­able? — LINDA IN TERRE HAUTE, IND.

DEAR LINDA: Yes, the book­let is still avail­able. It was writ­ten in re­sponse to thou­sands of ques­tions from read­ers over the years who were not nat­u­rally so­cially as­sertive and con­tains many use­ful tips for pol­ish­ing so­cial skills. It can be or­dered by send­ing your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Pop­u­lar­ity Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price. You will find the book­let cov­ers a va­ri­ety of sit­u­a­tions and is meant for peo­ple of all ages. Ev­ery­one wants to be the kind of per­son oth­ers find in­ter­est­ing, at­trac­tive and worth know­ing bet­ter. (If par­ents, teach­ers and clergy know some­one need­ing help in this re­gard, it might make an in­ex­pen­sive gift that could help change the course of that per­son’s life.)

The key to be­ing well­liked by both sexes is: Be kind. Be hon­est. Be tact­ful. Don’t be afraid to give some­one a com­pli­ment if you think it’s de­served.

If you think you’re not beau­ti­ful (or hand­some), be well-groomed, taste­fully dressed, con­scious of your pos­ture. (Peo­ple who stand tall project self-con­fi­dence.) If you are not a “brain,” try harder. If you are smarter than most, don’t be a knowit-all. Ask oth­ers what they think and en­cour­age them to share their opin­ions.

If you’re not a good ath­lete, be a good sport. Be gen­er­ous with kind words and af­fec­tion­ate ges­tures, but re­spect your­self and your fam­ily val­ues al­ways. If you think “put­ting out” will make some­one like you, for­get it. (It won’t work, and later you’ll be glad you didn’t.) If you need help, ask God. And if you don’t need any­thing, thank God!

DEAR ABBY: My hus­band re­fuses to wear head­phones. This means that when we sit in the liv­ing room to­gether, I must put up with the blar­ing noise of what­ever he is watch­ing.

I do a lot of writ­ing, and in or­der to think, I need si­lence. I have tried earplugs, but they don’t muf­fle enough of the noise. Now, when I have had enough, I leave the room. This re­sults in us be­ing in two sep­a­rate places, which he hates. Is there an­other so­lu­tion I may be over­look­ing? — LOUD IN MAINE

DEAR LOUD: You might try noise-can­cel­ing head­phones. How­ever, if that doesn’t work, be­cause you need to “hear” in your head the sen­tences you are try­ing to write, you may have to do your writ­ing when your hus­band is not at home.

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