Porterville Recorder

Fair time

- Slim Randles Slim Randles is a humorist and author of “Home Country.” His new book “Strange Tales of Alaska” is now available as a Kindle book on Amazon.

It’s fair time again. Time for dreams to come true and for disappoint­ments to temporaril­y sweep through our lives. But the disappoint­ments can’t really get much of a purchase, because there’s too much fun going on.

Last year’s surprise winner of the quilting competitio­n, Windy Wilson, didn’t win this year, but he was ‘honorably mentioned,’ which is pretty good for an old cowboy and camp cook. Windy was having a deep-fried turkey leg later. When the boys from the Mule Barn found him, and commiserat­ed with him on his lack of a blue ribbon, he just told them, “Boys, I got honorably mentioned this here year, and when you jest consider all them needle ladies I go up against, ain’t bad. Ain’t bad a-tall.”

Doc has a bottle of his homemade wine in the action this year, but the rest of the members of the world-dilemma think tank think Doc’s vino is going to tank. They’ve sampled it before. Doc even had Dewey bring over a pickup load of fertilizer last spring for his grapevines.

But when he’d announced this one morning at coffee, Steve leaned over and whispered in Bert’s ear, “Better off eating the fertilizer and pouring that wine on the rose bushes.”

Dud was quieter than usual at the turkey leg get together. He could probably enter the accordion-playing competitio­n, but he wasn’t even close to being good enough to give the others a run for their money. His book, well, it might not be published for years yet. And there wasn’t a book-writing contest at the fair, anyway.

But it’s fair time, and there’s just so much time to entertain disappoint­ments before they are swept away by the happy screams of children coming from the midway, and the looks of pride when a young person brings a beautiful animal into the show ring to be judged.

Besides, where else can you find a deepfried turkey leg?

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