Woman’s co-workers ridicule her extreme aversion to blood
DEAR ABBY: I’m a 30-year-old female who has extreme hemophobia. I cannot see blood or hear people talk about anything blood-related. I pass out when my blood is drawn, and I cannot have a finger-prick blood test either. It’s even difficult for me to write this message.
I work in an office and I have told my co-workers about my problem and asked them to please avoid the topic when I’m present. They think my request is unreasonable and that I’m just being silly. When someone brings up the subject, I quickly leave the room, sit down out of earshot and put my head between my legs. Then they laugh at me. When I mentioned this problem to my supervisor, he said he doesn’t feel there is anything he can do about it because it’s not a subject that is against company policy or taboo.
I’m just looking for some compassion and understanding from my co-workers. I don’t want to have to find another job, but I can’t keep running for cover every day, and I don’t want to pass out and injure myself. How can I make them see that this is a real medical problem and I’m not just looking for attention? — PASSING OUT IN MISSOURI
DEAR PASSING OUT: Unless you work in a doctor’s office or a blood bank, I fail to see why the subject of blood would come up on a regular basis. Because your co-workers know how it affects you, I can only assume that they are either extremely thoughtless and insensitive, or do it intentionally to upset you or make you sick.
Raise the subject again with your supervisor. Explain that you don’t want to look for another job and what they’re doing is creating the opposite of a friendly work environment. If he still won’t intervene, consider discussing your problem with a mental health professional who specializes in phobias, because there may be a therapy that can help to lessen or even eliminate your condition.
DEAR ABBY: I am wondering about the use of the term “fiancee.” Urban Dictionary says it is now considered a “White Trash culture” term for a longterm girlfriend. I’m beginning to hear it used more and more often by people I certainly would not think of as white trash. Is there another way to refer to a significant other when no wedding is planned or a date set? Do other cultures or languages have a word for this? — WONDERING ABOUT WORDS
DEAR WONDERING: “Fiancee” is a word of French origin that is defined as “a woman engaged to be married.” When couples cohabitate with no plan to marry, the term they often use when referring to their significant other is “partner.” Of course, our culture is more liberal than some others that label those who choose to live this way as “fornicators.” While other cultures may have terms for it, I am unfamiliar with them.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been happily married for more than 15 years. His former wife has never gotten over him. She has sent him many emails and text messages. He never responds. Her most recent ploy was to sign up with an assortment of vendors to receive mail at our home. We also get phone calls from solicitors asking for her.
Although we live in the same city, this has never been her home. It goes without saying that she needs to get over it and move on. I’m tempted to put “Forward to (her address)” on the mail, but I don’t want to egg her on. To me, it’s harassment, and possibly stalking. What do you think? — HAD IT WITH HER
DEAR HAD IT: Your husband’s former wife appears to have emotional problems, and I agree that what she’s doing is a form of harassment. You are certainly within your rights to redirect any mail that’s addressed to her to her home. Contact the post office to see what can be done. And if solicitors call, either give them her correct phone number or consider having your number changed to one that’s unlisted.