New Marine’s mom wonders how often she should write
DEAR ABBY: My son and I are very close. He joined the Marine Corps (a decision I fully support) and shipped out recently.
I had read on a Marine family site that frequent letters from home are encouraged, so I had letters written even before I got his mailing address. I sent off three letters the day I got his address and another one three days later.
They always start off with a supportive declaration (“I’m proud of you. You can do this.”) before moving on to what I hope are amusing anecdotes about what’s going on at home. I avoid topics that would make him homesick. I sign the letter with the initials of my son’s nickname for me.
Last night, another family member told me I’m writing too often (that person has written one letter so far, and plans to wait at least a week before sending another). That family member said that the drill instructors and other recruits will notice and label my son a “mama’s boy.”
This has caused me significant distress. Please tell me which is right: the website that recommends frequent letters, or my family member who advocates cutting back drastically? — MOM OF A MARINE DEAR MOM: Unless the family member is speaking from firsthand experience, trust the military family website. However, because you are concerned, ask your son how he feels about the fact that you write so often, and ask him to be honest.
DEAR ABBY: In view of all the recent tragic events that have happened, you would do a great service to remind everyone to be careful when donating. A lot of the money that was donated for 9/11 and other tragedies never got to the victims.
Unfortunately, when tragedies occur, scammers view them as an opportunity to line their pockets. I’m not sure how to make sure the money gets to the right people, so I haven’t donated at all. Can you help with some information on this? — DIANA IN TEXAS
DEAR DIANA: Some appeals are, indeed, scams. That’s why it’s important for kindhearted people to be able to tell the difference. A way to verify that a charity is legit would be to visit charitynavigator. org. It will tell you what percentage of the money you donate will go toward overhead, and how much actually reaches those who need it.
Charity Navigator also publishes “donor advisories” — typically within a week of the event — to ensure that those searching the site for an organization can see if it isn’t a legitimate nonprofit entity.
DEAR ABBY: Halloween is approaching. Years ago, when my sons were in preschool, their teacher told parents about the “Candy Witch.” She said most kids — especially little ones — like wearing costumes and going trick-or-treating. However, getting the candy is not as important.
She suggested parents have their kids pick out 10 pieces of candy and leave the rest out for the Candy Witch. In return, the next morning they would find a little toy (or a new book or school supply) left for them. It would be up to the parents to decide what to do with the leftover candy.
We did this for many years, and there was never an argument over how much candy our kids would eat. I hope you agree this is a helpful suggestion. — LOVES THE CANDY WITCH IN ALBUQUERQUE
DEAR LOVES: Not only do I agree, but I’m also sure any parent whose child has overdosed on sugar will too. Thanks for sharing it.