Other woman cheats on man who’s cheating on his wife

DEAR ABBY: A year ago, my husband confessed that he was having an affair at work. Before it started, he tried setting “Velma” up with his twin brother, but she said she wasn’t interested. Their affair lasted for months, until the guilt “ate him up.” When he told me, I was devastated.

We agreed to get counseling and work on our marriage. Well, it turns out Velma was also seeing his brother while she was with my husband. My brother-in-law claims he loves Velma and she loves him. I have been asked if I amwillingtositwith her, my husband and brother-in-law to “clear the air.” I don’t think I can do it. Although I want my brother-in-law to be happy, at the same time, I don’t want to ever be near this woman. Please help. — LOSING MYSELF

DEAR LOSING YOURSELF: Has your brotherin-law married Velma? If not, I see no reason why you should be forced to clear anything with her. If the two of them have tied the knot, then I can see a benefit for you in having a discussion. Of course, that discussion should be in the office of a professional mediator, and you should first make a list of all the questions you would like her to answer.

At the top of the list would be why she was sleeping with your husband and his brother at the same time. Close to that one would be why she thinks you would ever want to have a relationship with her. Take it from there and add questions of your own. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.dearabby. com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.