Fact checking Michael Carley’s “Mikeland” story
Editor, I’ve carefully read my friend Michael Carley’s leftist commentary for over a decade to understand our fair city’s minority opinions. He’s a great dad, Christian and husband. I’ve never seen much humor from his direct writings, but his August 1 offering proved why. As a published political cartoonist/humorist in radio and TV, with over one-fifth of my lifetime income from comedy, I did what I normally do with his column I reject, I wrap leftover fish in its paper, but lately the patriotic dead trout have been complaining about that. Then I felt bad and re-read it, with stinky scale-covered hands and prayers.
The gist of the article is that Mr. Carley is selfnaming that newly-birthed volcanic island stranded off Hawaii’s big Island. He wants it named MIKELAND, kind of an off-shore democratic leftist socialist like a Club Med for disenfranchised Trumphaters. I did my due diligence fact checking (without the authors Soros-based sources). I discovered it would run into legal branding problems with old Russia’s Club RED on MIKEGORBACHEVLAND though, the actual 124th island nation.
In Mike’s 20 paragraphs he longs to be away from the American continent who dared to elect a President he didn’t anoint with his poison pen, a nation of despicable Electoral College lovers, and a people who didn’t respect both good things Obama did, compared to the dozens of amazing actual Presidential achievements Trump pulled off, even before the July 4th after inauguration. He promised and he delivered, to the majority who voted him in.
The new MIKELAND website (delayed by web builders 18 months) has already released tentative plans for his arrival, although so many pouting Liberals have promised to leave American shores after the blessed Trump reality came true and then lied in actually not exiting. Dang. I had dibs on Satan’s mansion.
Also, the island’s recently bought leaders will be pushing a violent gun-toting, militant AGAINST ICE pro-island hopping immigration campaign (paid for with Carley’s George Soros Credit Card bonus points). They’ll have leftist global experts proving that Icebergs will break off in the Arctic Ocean with racist intent, and drift into the warm Hawaiian islands to seek and crush illegal immigrants who are taking sanctuary on MIKELAND. The smarter illegal gangbangers will see the ICE logo on the approaching ‘bergs and paddle back to Baja.
The website lists the building of a Berkeley University satellite gulag campus in the heart of the spewing volcano crater, overseen by the Pagan Godess Hillarle who will offer email & evidence sacrifices into the 24/7 Lavaobama pits of fire. NOTE: Free Bible burnings every Saturday!
Finally, the massive diabolical recoil against our President Trump by once reasonable Democrats, the media, late night comedians, college academics and Hollywood elitists will be celebrated by a vitriolic sacrifice of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights and American flag by the local conniving cannibals of Leftists in unisex hula skirts.
At least this Atoll of Tantrum Tots retreat will be far ashore from us. Yet, if they get out of hand politically by trying to storm the White House with locally grown nuts and fruits, we can send in the Marines and historically add a stanza to their hallowed anthem:
From the Halls of Montezuma To the Shores of new MIKELAND We should fight as one our battles, But just leave if it ain’t your plan.
Yet, I would visit your island because I do respect my democratic leftist friends, who often disrespect me and mine without a word.
I’d love to see the governing growth woes of our opposing views from scratch. But, we live here and need to grow here, a small town without rancor or the ramped-up type of venom spewed to date.
William Lloyd Porterville