‘The Trauma of Shame’
Local therapists examine how shame influences development in new book
The peaceful sounds of meditation filled the art studio overlooking Morton Avenue where Sherron Lewis and Shelley Stokes gathered Tuesday to speak about their new book ‘The Trauma of Shame and the Making of the Self.’
Lewis, a licensed marriage and family therapist who has practiced in Porterville for ten years, and Stokes, a licensed clinical psychologist in Fresno, collaborated to shed light on the emotion of shame and how it can affect a person throughout their life.
“I think people underestimate how much shame is involved in our development,” said Stokes.
He went on to further explain that even as children, shame is prevalent in the way we are raised, even when we don’t realize it. Even something as simple as a parent shaking their finger at their child and telling them they have been bad puts some shame on to the child.
‘The Trauma of Shame and the Making of the Self’ focuses on the way shame can influence thoughts and actions more so than other emotions. A sentence from the book’s synopsis reads, “While we all experience shame from time to time, when shame becomes toxic, it can play a central role in our life-long development and functioning.”
Lewis and Stokes break the book down into five different
sections, each of which educates about the way shame works.
“Shame is so wide,” Lewis explained, “It could be little shame, it can be big shame.”
Stokes expanded on that idea by informing that talking about and expressing shame is an important part of processing emotions. He also expressed that talking to yourself is vital in understanding why we feel certain ways. He explained that when faced with conflicting feelings you have to address both of the feelings and have an inner conversation.
“There is kind of an illusion that we are this integrated whole and we're not,” said Stokes. “We are really composed of a lot of different parts and thinking about that can really be a lot of fun.”
Stokes and Lewis explained that ‘the self' is more complicated than we think and that multiple parts of us make up what we know as our whole person.
Being aware of the many different parts of our whole “promotes self-compassion,” Lewis said.
Stokes stated that he would like this book to reach the general public and medical professionals. He believes that medical professionals would have better connections with their clients and more empathy and understanding with the knowledge presented in the book.
Lewis shared about her journey to heal her own shame and explained that the audience she wishes to reach are those who are suffering from these emotions.
“For me,” Lewis said, “I just want people to be able to not have to suffer so long.”
This is the second book the two have published together and a third is headed to the publisher this week.
“The third book is absolutely like a culmination of the things that we discovered in the first and second book,” Lewis stated.
Lewis would like to incorporate ‘The Trauma of Shame and the Making of the Self' in to her ‘Art of Healing' sessions in the near future.
Lewis holds these sessions in her art studio, where groups of people express themselves through paint and canvas art. Her studio looks out onto the street and is lined with works of art including many painted collages.
“It's very powerful,” Lewis said. “People are so surprised at what comes out. There is a lot of rich symbolism that comes up when you do collaging — sort of like a dream.”
Lewis' art sessions are open and available to those who are 18 or older.
Stokes and Lewis have plans for many future projects together and Lewis is currently working on a book of her own about her childhood.
For more information on Stokes and Lewis' currently published books visit www.selftendingcreativeconsciousness.com and for more information about the Art of Healing sessions call (559)483-6166.