Why they don’t report

O nce again, sexual assault is in the news and again, women are being asked to justify why there was a delay in the time between the assault and their reporting it. Of course, we have long known that the vast majority of assaults aren’t reported at all. But still, some are incredulous that someone wouldn’t arise from being raped, clearheaded, and head directly to the police station.

But now, women are no longer having it. They are refusing to be shamed or silenced. They are posting to social media, and like the recent #Metoo campaign, they are using the hashtag #Whyididntreport to share their stories.

The reasons for a delay in reporting are many, but certainly the most common is how women are treated when they do report. We know that these crimes are difficult to prove and a minority of those reported are even investigated substantially, fewer are prosecuted, and a tiny portion result in convictions. Perhaps even more scary, some of those convictions result in little or no jail time. Some examples illustrate the point: “I submitted the longest incident report the Slippery Rock borough PD ever received. Six pages single spaced, 11 pt font. The officer did nothing. They never interviewed my assaulter. The female DA denied my case. I was devastated…” — Liv

“Because the police told me ‘why don’t you wait a few days and then decide if you want to ruin a man’s life.’” —Grace

“Because when it happened the first time, I did everything right. I reported, my case went to trial, and I endured months of repeated trauma only to watch my abuser go free.” —Pissed off Premed

It isn’t just the criminal justice system that makes reporting difficult. Many times, family members or friends shame victims.

“I was young. My parents didn’t believe me. Told me I was a whore…” —Crazy

“I’m 36 n I’ve been sexually assaulted more than 7 times in my life, 3 of those as a child. Each time, a family member would wonder out loud what I had done to provoke the attack.” —Helen

The shame is pervasive and is exacerbated by public figures, including the president, openly mocking victims, to cheering crowds.

“Keep trying to post a #Whyididntreport for the last week and I just delete it over and over again.” —Tacho

“Because even making this post, I am scared of what will happen.” —Sara

Sometimes, victims are confused and don’t come to terms with what happened to them for years afterward.

“It took time to realize/recognize what happened and why it was wrong. I never reported because I still have problems saying it out loud.” —Breanna

“Because I believed that consent was giving up on saying no. How are we still in a culture of victim shaming after centuries of this.” —Orian

Some victims are children and don’t know how to report.

“Because I was 12 years old and he told me I would ruin his life, he is now a police officer.” —Willow

“I was three years old and didn’t fully realize what had happened to me for many years. It was the teenage son of family friends…” —Bat S*#t Crazy

Sometimes a power differential prevents reporting.

“I was underage. He was older and had power over me. It happened more than once. He said he’d make sure no one believed me. When it came out, I was called a slut and told I wanted it because I took so long to tell.” —Tasha

“I was sexually assaulted at work. When I reported, they viewed the tape, watched him assault me, and said because I laughed, it was consensual. They fired me. He kept his job. The police did nothing. I can’t remember his name now.”

(Dismissing victims for details they can’t remember is another all too common dismissal strategy.) And, it happens to men too. “I was raped at a party in college while I was blacked out drunk. I’m a guy. I simply didn’t realize I could be raped by a woman - the concept didn’t even exist back then.” —Scott

“I never said anything because I didn’t think anyone would believe that a man of my size and stature could be raped.” —A boy has no name

A delay in reporting can certainly derail a legal case; it can make finding forensic and other evidence difficult. But often we aren’t talking about criminal conviction, but whether someone should be celebrated or promoted, or whether victims should be believed or dismissed. The evidence from all we know about sexual assault tells us that the delay itself means nothing regarding the credibility of the victim. We give them plenty of reasons. Michael Carley is a resident of Porterville. He can be reached at mcarley@gmail.com.