James 4:4-6: Talking about friendship

Who’s your best friend? I’ve often said I have lots of acquaintances, but few friends. At 70 years and counting that’s as true as ever.

James has something to say about friends and friendship. James 4:4-6: (4) You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. (5) Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely. (6) But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” (NIV)

Here’s the bottom line: you can be friends with God or friends with the world! You can’t be friends with both. If you chose the world you ace God out. If you chose God, you ace out the world. This is a place where it’s impossible to straddle the fence! You’re either in on God’s friendship side our out. You’re either the world’s friend or you’re not the world’s friend! There’s a division here. You will be the world’s friend or God’s friend…. It’s one or the other.

James says, and he says this under Holy Spirit inspiration, if you have chosen the world you’re adulterous toward God. He asks the rhetorical question, “don’t you know friendship with the world is hatred toward God? The answer to that question is “yes,” friendship with the world is hatred toward God! It’s hard to find a more emphatic statement anywhere! Think about how strong a statement that is. If you’re the world’s friend, you have demonstrated you hate God!

If forced to choose the world or God as a friend which would you choose? The reality is we must choose God, or the world and it’s impossible to have both as a friend! This is tricky because we all are forced to live in the world, but we’re not of the world and while living in the world we must decide who our friend is. Are we friends with the world or friends with God while we live in the world? The call is to be friends with God while living in the world!

James even says the Spirit God caused to live in us envies intensely! He’s talking about the Holy Spirit, the literal Spirit of God, Himself! He takes up residence inside our lives and as God, Himself he envies for first place in our life, or for the priority of friendship within us!

Do you suppose anyone in the history of the world, other than Jesus, has ever lived out this friendship with God without error? No one has ever lived this perfect friendship with God to perfection, except Jesus. The rest of us fall short! I know I do!

James affirms in verse 6 God gives us more grace, or favor with him that’s not deserved! Grace forgives our shortcomings and empowers us to do better and come closer to being God’s friend all the time. He goes so far as to say God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble in verse 6b. Friendship with God requires for us to be humble so we appropriate more of His grace to shore up our shortcomings. Why? Because we always come up short regarding being God’s friend, but he never comes up short being our friend. We commit to friendship with God over friendship with the world and he graces us toward perfection in friendship with Him and forgives when we fall short.

How do we handle that in day to day life? All I know to do is to tell you what I do each day. I recommit to putting Jesus Christ in the first place as Lord, making Him my vehicle to friendship with God. I do that every day and he takes up the slack with grace!

The trick is to start by surrendering to Jesus as Lord making God your best friend!

I was one of five guys named Tom in my class in Flagstaff, Ariz. Most off us hung out together, so we went by our last names. I was always West! Probably my best friend was Tom L. I met him when we were 4 years old. We played army and cowboys and Indians in the forest in Flagstaff where we were raised.

Tom L and I played baseball on the same teams, football on the same school teams in high school. When we turned 16 and got cars we partied in the woods, drinking beer and going to dances on Friday nights. We were friends with each other and primarily friends with the world.

Tom L got married right out of high school and started a family. I ended up in the army. I got out of the army December 17, 1971. In early 1972 I made Jesus my best friend and became friends with God, not the world. By April of 1973 I was engaged to Becky and Tom L was already divorced. He was my best friend growing up, so I sent him an invitation to my wedding.

The wedding was April 6, 1973. On the evening of April 5, I got a call from Tom L. “West, this is Tom L. Where’s the party?” I explained there was no party and told him I was going to be a preacher! I told him I was looking forward to seeing him at my wedding and the reception. He didn’t show up!

Fast forward to August 2017. I went to the 50th reunion of our class from Flagstaff High School. I was hoping I might see Tom L. He wasn’t there, but his ex-wife was. She told me he had remarried, got his life together with God and had been in a serious accident with his wife being killed and he had some memory loss from a brain injury!

My friend has been through some tough times, but he’s now God’s friend, not the world’s. The day will come when Tom L and Tom West, old friends will sit at the feet of Jesus as friends with God as our best friend! Pals again!

The question: Who’s your best friend?