Absence makes heart grow fonder
“I’m thinking about going up north and visiting Thomas and Alicia,” Sue said.
“Thomas” was our youngest, “Alicia” his girlfriend and “up north” was Sonoma, where they lived.
Did I hear you right? Are you suggesting after spending two months eating almost every meal together, walking together, watching 30 episodes of “The Wonder Years,” eight of “The Last Dance” and one of “Belgravia,” and bludgeoning ourselves with cocktails on the front porch every night hoping somebody we know will walk by and, when they do, leap out of our chairs with joy, you’re going to leave?
I have mixed feelings. Feelings that alternate between joy and elation. No, not for me, for you.
If you don’t mind, I’d like some time to think about it. OK, I thought about it and I want to say I’m 100 percent behind you, no, make that 200.
“Maybe I’ll stay for a couple days,” she said, as if even voicing the idea was a violation of the strict quarantining many people, including Sue, have observed.
A couple of days? I’m not sure that’s enough time to do what you want to do. You know how exhausting travel can be. You get there, you’re tired from driving and before you know it, you’re putting your suitcase in the car and driving south.
Have you thought about tacking a day on either end and then taking the long way home? You’ve always wanted to see the Pacific Northwest, Canada, Iceland. You could do a big loop.
Yes, it’s going to hurt me. Yes, I’m going to miss you, but your happiness, your mental health, your sangfroid, is my No. 1 concern. Numero uno.
Please understand I’m not taking offense. To the contrary, you’re my hero because you have the courage to say what a lot of people are thinking: “I want a break. I love, love, love my husband but I’ll love him more if we give it a rest.”
“I think it’s a good idea,” I said. “I know the kids will appreciate it because you cannot get too much family during times like these.”
Normally, I would have repeated that twice, but I didn’t want to seem too eager. These are big decisions and it’s important to make the right one, but should she make the right one, I will do what any husband would do: Wash and gas the car, make her a car lunch, place a bottle of cold water in the drink holder and load her suitcase all within about half an hour, quicker if it’s important to her.
“I would imagine hotels are pretty cheap these days,” I said. “Have you looked into any?”
“Cheap?” There’s no putting a price on something like this, on somebody’s peace of mind. Stay at the Sir Francis Drake. Rent a castle — the whole thing, including the moat. She had. They were. There was room. That settles it. I think it settles it. I think we can agree it’s pretty settled.
A few days passed. She hadn’t brought it up. I asked her if she was still thinking about going because I didn’t want her to think I didn’t care. She had been thinking about it and had decided to go.
You have! I mean, you have? I couldn’t be happier for you. I’ll have a cold glass of chardonnay ready for you when you come home, whenever that is. Contact The Californian’s Herb Benham at 661395-7279 or hbenham@bakersfield.com.