Security camera captures angry man’s hourlong rant
typically abusive, but this incident has me questioning everything. We have been together for 22 years and married for nearly 16 with no children. What are your thoughts? — THROWN INTO TURMOIL
DEAR THROWN: My first thought is that you and your husband need to find a healthier way to deal with your “conflicts” than your walking out on him, and him saying nasty things into a camera knowing full well he might be heard. If your definition of stability is tolerating further verbal abuse, then you are — and will be — paying a high price for it.
I sincerely hope the two of you will try to iron out your differences with the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist. After all the years you have invested in each other, it’s worth a shot.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I married 20 years ago. He never proposed; he just came home one day from boot camp and said, “We need to get married tomorrow so that I can get paid more,” and we did. I regret that day. It wasn’t what I wanted, and it meant nothing to me.
Since then, so much has happened. He cheated on me while he was in the service, and had PTSD to the point where he tried to kill himself, among other things.
We are now in a happy place and have two awesome kids. I would like to redo our wedding day and for him to propose to me. The problem is, he isn’t ready. He said he hasn’t done it because we have had more lows than highs. He said he will eventually, when he feels the time is right.
My feelings are hurt, and now I’m questioning why I am still here. I have stuck by his side for 20 years, through thick and thin. I deserve that and much more. I’m not asking for anything over the top. Do you think I’m overreacting, or should I finally move on? — TIRED OF WAITING IN TEXAS
DEAR TIRED: I don’t think you are overreacting; I think you are over-orchestrating. You say you and your husband are in a happy place now after years of struggle, plus you have two awesome kids. Now is not the time to upset the apple cart. More important than redoing his proposal and your wedding day is devoting some time to working on communicating more effectively with each other.