The Popcorn Stand: Stuff that works, that’s all I want stuff that works

I’ve been on this rant before and I’m going on it again. My parents bought their first color television set in 1965. It was a Zenith. My parents must have bought into Zenith’s motto: “The quality goes in before the name goes on.”

But that Zenith television set lived up to its name. It lasted for 28 years before it finally gave out in 1993. Not once did it have to be taken into a repair shop. Not once.

Maybe I’m looking at the past through rose colored glass, but stuff seemed to work a lot better, I mean the stuff we had in “my day” just seemed to work, period. Although Emmitt’s Fix It Shop on the Andy Griffith Show seemed to always be full of stuff that needed fixing, but it never seemed like Emmitt actually got around to fixing anything.

Which reminds me of the episode of The Simpsons in which Charles Bronson was the guest sheriff on the Andy Griffith Show. When Barney asked Bronson what happened to Otis, Bronson replied “I shot him.” And then Bronson said, “Now I’m going to Emmitt’s Fix-it Shop — to fix Emmitt.” But I digress.

This old fuddy duddy thinks technology would be great. If it actually worked. It seems like when I’m using a computer, I’m always using what I call the “Blood, Sweat and Tears” system.

You know “spinnin’ wheel got to go ‘round.” I must admit I spew out a few expletives every time I see that rainbow colored wheel spinning around.

I’ve written about how I struggle with modern technology. Zoom. Forget it. Herb Benham’s column on how easy Venmo is to use recently appeared in the Recorder. I tried it. I couldn’t do it.

Anything to do with an App store. Forget it. Anything to do with Apps. Forget it. Not once have I been able to successfully download an App to my iphone. Not once.

But I’m sure the Millennials are just as frustrated with me as I was with my father when it came to modern technology. I mean my father would have nothing to do with modern technology. I mean nothing.

He wouldn’t touch a computer. I would try to tell him how easy it was to use e-mail but he would have nothing to do with.

He tried using a cell phone. It wouldn’t take. Until the end of his life my father was still astounded by how people could text messages to each other over the phone.

In my profession I’ve been involved with computers all my adult life. It’s been a love-hate relationship. There was one IT guy I worked with who every few months or so would announce to the staff he was doing an “upgrade” of the computers.

I felt like the Spaniard in “The Princess Bride” whenever the Sicilian would say “inconceivable.” “You keep using that word,’ the Spaniard said. “I don’t think that word means what you think it means.”

Every time that IT guy would say he’s doing an “upgrade,” I felt like telling him, “you keep using that word. I don’t think that word means what you think it means.”

One of my favorite songs is Guy Clark’s “Stuff That Works.” Stuff that works. That’s all I want, stuff that works.

Like my parents 1965 Zenith color television set.