Woman’s lies and sexting put marriage on the brink
DEAR ABBY: I found out today that my wife was sexting with a man in another state. His girlfriend sent me a message, which included a series of screenshots. I had confronted my wife regarding this prior to receiving the messages, but she swore she had sent only ONE topless photo and nothing else. After I reviewed the messages, I saw much more.
She claims “she doesn't remember everything,” which I find hard to believe. Worse, they had planned to meet. She claims she didn't, but I saw a message saying that once I went back home (we were visiting her parents), She claims she didn't, but I can't believe her based
upon her lying repeatedly about this.
We have a child together, so I don't want to walk away, but I'm deeply hurt and no longer trust her. Is there anything I should do? — LOST IN THE EAST
DEAR LOST: Has your wife always been this way, or is this behavior something new? She seems to be severely allergic to the truth. By all means, attempt marriage counseling if she is willing. However, if she isn't willing, have some counseling without her. And start interviewing attorneys to represent you in what is likely to be a divorce. Without trust, there can be no marriage.
P.S. Save those messages and images the girlfriend sent you because they could come in handy.
DEAR ABBY: I'm 59 and the oldest of four children. We were never close to our parents. Our father passed some years ago, which left our mom, who continued to live her booze-filled life. She was a terrible mother. She never protected us from my father's verbal and physical abuse. My brother still has nightmares about him.
Now that our mother has dementia, my siblings make a lot of effort to spend time with her. I refuse to have anything to do with her. My sisters say I should make amends because she won't live forever. I have made my peace with it all, and I'm fine without what I never had.
My siblings think I should “just get over it” because she can't remember anything. Because she can't remember doesn't negate the fact that it happened. Am I wrong for standing strong on my decision? — RESOLUTE IN FLORIDA
DEAR RESOLUTE: Because your mother can no longer remember what a failure she was as a parent doesn't mean you must magically forget. If you feel it's better to stand strong on your decision, do not allow yourself to be guilted into doing otherwise.