Why do folks have loud public phone talks?

What words of advice would you have for addressing someone who is in a public place having a loud phone conversation on their Bluetooth earbuds (or cellphones in general)?

I’m baffled as to why someone does this, but I see it all the time. No one wants to hear it, and it makes me uncomfortable.

— KQ, in Kentucky

Dear KQ: I believe the reason people tend to yell into their cellphones while they are using earphones is because they can’t actually hear themselves very well … because their ears are plugged by their earbuds.

People tend to quickly believe they are isolated when engaged in a private cellphone conversation — even in a public space.

Landlines (remember those?) have microphones in the earpiece so speakers can hear themselves. Cellphones don’t seem to utilize this function well.

The “Lombard effect” describes the human tendency to raise our voice to match the noise around us, even when this is unnecessary. Yes — this is annoying!

I’d like to augment this gripe by adding an additional annoyance: People who use FaceTime in public. I understand that all grandparents find their grandchildren adorable, but must they visit with these children over FaceTime at a crowded restaurant?

Listeners tend to be more annoyed by overheard phone conversations than they are by overheard in-person conversations because we only overhear one side of the conversation. Our brain can’t help but be distracted as it tries to fill in the missing pieces.

Only one time have I confronted someone doing this. I approached a man who had shared some sensitive information over the phone while sitting next to me at a Starbucks. I told him I was a reporter and had been taking notes. (Did this caution work long term? I doubt it.)

I am deliberately dodging your actual question, because — other than trying to make eye contact and putting your finger to your lip in the universal “shhh” gesture — I don’t know how to respond to these loud intrusions.

Readers will want to weigh in … using your indoor voices, please!

Dear Amy: My friends and I are having dinner at a casual restaurant when the table next to us vacates and leaves behind a bottle of wine that is half full. Shall we grab it and celebrate, or leave it to the restaurant? What a dilemma!

— Dilemma in Denver

Dear Denver: If swiping wine from a neighboring table after the diners have finished their meal is your idea of a true dilemma (implying a decision between two equal choices), then I will guard my French fries with more than the usual ferocity the next time I dine near you.

These other diners have paid for this wine and — just as they paid for their steak or crab cake — it is not appropriate for you to decide what to do with their leftovers.

For a more professional assessment of your question, I’ve shared it with Meaghan Frank, vice president at the family-owned winery started by her great-grandfather, winemaking pioneer Konstantin Frank. Meaghan is also an instructor for the Wine and Spirit Education Trust.

Her response: “There are several issues here, hygiene being one. Just as you would not help yourself to water from another table’s halffinished pitcher, this bottle will have touched glasses which others have drunk from.

“Taking this wine is also not fair to the restaurant and staff. If your group decided to drink it at your table, you would be taking up the table for a longer period, preventing the restaurant from turning the table over, and likely affecting the amount of the server’s income for the night.”

Dear Amy: I have a suggestion for “Anxious Aunt,” whose niece was getting married in Europe. She should not be pressured to attend. But I wonder if someone at the wedding ceremony could arrange to livestream it?

— Wondering

Dear Wondering: Great idea! Anxious Aunt could even host a local gettogether and viewing party for those other guests who couldn’t make the trip.

Offering to do so might also serve to smooth the rocky reaction from family members regarding her decision not to attend this overseas wedding.