Press-Telegram (Long Beach)

Dad tired of daughter's antics

- Columnist

My 40-year-old daughter has never grown up. Until recently, she relied on her grandmothe­r to make ends meet.

Her grandmothe­r passed away, and now I'm all she has. After she was fired from her civil-service job and evicted from her apartment, she broke her leg in a hiking accident. I got her into an apartment and have been supporting her for a few months now.

Once her leg has healed, she has an entry-level job to return to, however long that lasts. I don't think it pays enough for her to live on. I offered to pay for training in ANYTHING she's interested in, but she shows no interest in a parttime job to help with bills. I can't believe what she tells me because she never learned responsibi­lity, accountabi­lity or honesty.

She has now quit texting me because I called her out on her continual excuses, lies and half-truths. I'm committed to paying her rent until her leg is fully healed, but then what? Do I let her go to the street in hopes she'll learn responsibi­lity? I know what can, and probably will, happen. To say she's illprepare­d is an understate­ment.

— Fed-up Dad in

California

Until your daughter learns there are consequenc­es for her irresponsi­bility, lack of accountabi­lity and lying, she will become increasing­ly dependent on your generosity.

Continue the arrangemen­t you have with her until her leg has healed and then, finally, let her live with the consequenc­es. It's the only way she is going to learn.

I'm an attractive, fit and emotionall­y intelligen­t 43-year-old woman who has been divorced for almost eight years. I have dated during that time, and even had a five-year relationsh­ip with someone I thought would be my future spouse, but who turned out to be a waste of time. I ended the relationsh­ip three months ago, and I'm ready to date again.

My problem is I have an aversion to online dating. Most of my relationsh­ips have been with men I've met via other means, but I feel I may need to use this tool to meet people since I'm so busy with work and being a single mother of two (ages 15 and 11). Joining a group or a club can be difficult, and I don't have many friends who can fix me up. How can I make this process more enjoyable?

— Looking for Love in New

Jersey

You may have little choice other than to sign up for some dating apps. More than a few successful matches have been made online, but understand that it is a sifting process, and you have to be prepared to cope with disappoint­ment if what you want doesn't happen right away.

Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com.

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