Press-Telegram (Long Beach)

Husband's `crush' resurfaces

- Columnist

DEAR ABBY ❯❯ When our son went to college years ago, he traveled all summer with a school-sponsored ministry singing group. The members were all smart, attractive, talented young men and women — a group of four.

I stopped going to his concerts because my husband became attracted to one of the young women. She was very outgoing and annoying, so I didn't mind letting my husband go alone. After they all graduated, I thought I'd never see her again. Now, all these years later, she's a missionary, and the church we attend is sponsoring her, so I have had to see her once and I'll probably have to see her again.

I know to keep quiet about it because my husband says he doesn't want to hear it. I don't honestly think his thoughts are inappropri­ate. I just think he's not aware of how obviously attracted he is to this young woman. I don't act that way toward other men, even if they are attractive. I wonder if other women experience this and how they cope.

— Slightly Jealous

DEAR SLIGHTLY JEALOUS ❯❯ This situation occurs with both husbands and wives. They cope in different ways. Some make a joke out of it. Others make a point of accompanyi­ng their spouse whenever they know the “crush” is around.

Nowhere in your letter did you state that this younger woman is attracted to your husband or a threat to your marriage. Be patient and let the torch subside. Eventually, she will be transferre­d to another ministry, and you will be rid of her once again.

DEAR ABBY ❯❯ My mother and I are super close. I consider her my best friend. My brother, not so much. He ignores my texts and calls, and I know of any news about him only via our mom. My parents divorced when we were very young. When my father passed recently, he left me a decentsize­d inheritanc­e, and my brother $500.00. (They were estranged.) I took the inheritanc­e and the equity in my house, bought a new one, and need to finance only a small amount to remodel.

Mom doesn't understand why I didn't share my inheritanc­e with my brother and says she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. I am excited about my upcoming move and the furniture shopping and remodeling. It's killing me that I can't talk to my best friend about it. Can you give me some advice?

— Missing My Bestie

DEAR MISSING ❯❯ If your dad had wanted his estranged son to have the money, he would have left him more. Your wanting to share all the details about buying and decorating your new home is understand­able, but because your mom prefers you keep them to yourself, abide by her wishes. She is your brother's mother and is entitled to her opinion about the inheritanc­e. It is OK for the two of you to disagree.

Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com.

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