Failed marriage cripples dad

DEAR ABBY » I have failed in a 30-year relationship and as a father of five. After feeling terrible for a number of years,

I was finally diagnosed with a blood disorder. I was prescribed a chemotherapy pill and, two years later, was diagnosed with extreme neuropathy. Depression set in. I let myself go and rarely got out of bed. My wife complained because she wanted me to be more involved with the children, but I failed.

We are now going through a divorce. I have been cut off from my 13-year-old son, and I don't know how to reconnect. He's the youngest of my kids, and he's very special to me because he is adopted, as was I. I need help. I'm not good at asserting myself. Please help me.

— Needs Help in

Pennsylvania

DEAR NEEDS HELP » The individuals who can provide the help you are looking for would be your divorce lawyer and a licensed mental health professional. The former will see to it that your legal rights as a parent are enforced; the latter can help you become more assertive as well as, hopefully, reconnect with your youngest child.

DEAR ABBY » Out of nowhere, my husband announced he thinks we should unfriend each other on Facebook. I find it very suspicious. He unfriended me anyway. He called me closed-minded and said I value Facebook over our marriage. Is he right?

— Social Media-minded in

Georgia

DEAR S.M.M. » No, he's not right. Your husband's announcement was a red flag. When a spouse does what your husband has done, it's usually because he doesn't want his partner to see what he is posting and doesn't want to be monitored.

You need to discuss this further so he can explain his reasons. If the discussion is not productive, offer your husband the option of counseling with a licensed marriage and family therapist. If he refuses, consult an attorney so your interests will be protected.

DEAR ABBY » Our church has a potluck every Saturday. How do we deal with the freeloaders — an adult family of three — who never bring anything? They jump up to be first in line, don't help clean up and never fail to take leftovers home with them. We are a small church and could use an extra dish, help in cleaning up, etc.

— Outraged in Oregon

DEAR OUTRAGED » “Someone” — preferably the religious leader of your church — should take the family aside privately and explain the “rules” to them. If that family cannot afford to bring a dish, the least they could do is assist with cleaning up.

Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com.