Life in These United States
IN THESE UNITED STATES
WHEN MY LOCAL barista handed me my change, one coin stood out. “Look at that. You rarely get one of these old wheat pennies nowadays,” I said, tapping the sheafof-wheat design. I handed her the penny.
Turning it over and over in her hand, she said, “You know, I always thought they were made of copper.”
LINDA NEUKRUG, Walnut Creek, California
I DON’T MIND vacuuming, but if the cord doesn’t reach an area of the room, I’m not making a special trip over there. @SKITTLE624
OUR BIOLOGY TEACHER asked the class whether anyone knew what the word retrovirus meant. One kid raised his hand and said, “Retrovirus, or more commonly known as ... disco fever.” Source: reddit.com
THINGS I OVERHEARD AT MY HEALTH CLUB:
■ “I’m only taking this class so I don’t eat for an hour.”
■ “Who knew 40 years of neglect would have repercussions?”
■ “Does this body make me look fat?”
MARK GARVEY, Concord, Massachusetts
I TACKED UP a flyer on the street that proclaimed, “Take what you need.” At the bottom were tear-off strips with the words Passion, Strength, Love, Patience, Cookies, Courage, and so forth. The first strips taken were Cookies and Love.
Source: mylifeisaverage.com
TRAVELING THROUGH the Midwest, I stopped at an Ohio welcome center to pick up a state map. I found plenty of brochures but no maps. Then I spotted two employees and asked whether they had any. “Sure,” said the first guy. “I’ll get you one.”
As he walked to the back, the second guy explained, “We keep them in the storage room. If we leave them out on the counter, people just come in and take them.”
JAMES NEALIS, College Park, Maryland
THE DEFINITION of a perfectionist: someone who wants to go from point A to point A+.
DAVID BEZ, Box Elder, South Dakota