All in a Day’s Work
WE UBER DRIVERS never know whom we’re going to end up with as a passenger. One day, I was driving over a new bridge, the design of which was very confusing. Completely confounded, I muttered,
“I’d love to meet the genius who designed this mess.”
With that, my passenger extended his hand in my direction and said, “Well, today is your lucky day. My name is Mike, I work for the county engineer’s office, and I’m the genius who designed this!” Surprisingly, he still gave me a tip. PATRICK GRILLIOT, Bowling Green, Ohio
SCENE: A graphic artist consulting with a client.
Client: I’m not too sure about the blue …
Me: Actually, that’s green.
Client: Who’s the client?
Client: And what color is it?
Me: … Blue?
Client: Right. Now let me see what other shades of blue we have. We settled on pine tree “blue.”
RANDOM THOUGHTS from office drones counting the hours till the weekend:
■ Today is the one-year anniversary of this six-week project.
■ I keep hoping they’ll put the two perfectionists on the same project and they’ll correct each other to infinity and stay out of everyone else’s way.
■ Just once I’d like to spend more time discussing the project on a conference call than we spend asking “Who just joined?”
MY MOTHER was browsing in a store when a saleswoman offered assistance. Mom admitted she didn’t have anything particular in mind, and the pair started chatting.
The woman quickly learned that Mom was retired. Interested, she confessed that she, too, was considering retirement. Mom immediately started telling her how much she liked no longer working and how the saleswoman would enjoy it too.
Finally, convinced by Mom’s enthusiasm, she asked, “How long have you been retired?”
Mom said, “This is my first day.”
LEE BEACHAM, Pickens, South Carolina
ST. PETER: Why should I let you into heaven?
Me: Once, a coworker said “supposably” seven times in a meeting, and I just let her.
St. Peter: Get in here.
“Most people use the cloud. We just stuff paperwork in the ceiling tiles.”