Reader's Digest

All in a Day’s Work

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Tanned, relaxed,

and unshaven, I landed at the Denver airport after returning from my bucolic Caribbean vacation. As the customs agent handed my passport back to me, she cheerily welcomed me home by declaring, “Back to reality for you!” —Bruce Neal Colorado Springs, Colorado

My friend’s dad,

a professor, travels a lot. Once, when returning from a conference in Australia, he spotted a familiar-looking man but didn’t know where he knew him from. So he confronted him.

friend’s dad: You look familiar. Were you at the conference this week for internatio­nal trade law?

man: Uh, no, I wasn’t. fd: I definitely know you. Are you in law?

man: No, I’m not. fd: Well, I must have seen you at a conference somewhere. Which university are you with?

man: I don’t work at a university.

fd: Well, what’s your name, at least?

man: Matt Damon. —not_a_frog on reddit.com

The Customer Is (NOT) Always Right

✦ Customer’s child is doing a project on dinosaurs. Customer cannot believe our bookstore doesn’t have a single book with actual photograph­s of real dinosaurs.

—Twitter@waterstone­s

Picc

✦ While I was working at a gas station, a guy asked me for a refund on gas he just pumped

If you put away the clean laundry on the same day that you wash it, I feel like that’s what you should lead with on your résumé. —Twitter@abbyhasiss­ues

because he changed his mind. —Twitter@obscureaar­on

✦ I work at a petsupply store. A customer once called to set up a delivery. Among the items he wanted was a dog toy, but he didn’t know which one. I had to pick out toys and squeak them into the phone for him until he heard the “right one.”

—Twitter@kristinneu­man

✦ When I worked at a video store, a woman asked if we had a copy of Three Dalmatians. To clarify, I asked, “Three Dalmatians?”

She answered angrily, “I don’t know, there could be more.” —Twitter@panickedid­iot

✦ I watched a woman demand that my coworker give her a haircut. I work at a bookstore. —Twitter@lindseyfev­er

Anything funny happen to you at work? It could be worth $$$. For details, go to page 4 or rd.com/submit.

 ??  ?? “You can call me dude or keep the ponytail … pick one.”
“You can call me dude or keep the ponytail … pick one.”
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