American Kindness
This strange summer, stuck at home, Susan and I did manage to get away to nearby mountain towns for a few long weekends in rented cabins. We felt so fortunate. The change in scenery was electric. It wasn’t hard to stay socially distanced when visiting a farmers’ market or signing in at trailheads. And whatever else you think about masks, they didn’t hide the welcoming eyes of pretty much everyone we met.
One Monday morning back at my desk at home, I was greeted by the perfect distillation of what we’d experienced. Reader’s Digest had commissioned a study to look at how this year has affected Americans’ attitudes toward one another.
The study was conducted with the nonpartisan group More in Common. I love the words this impressive outfit uses to describe its ideal of America: acting in virtue and against division. For this research, it surveyed a sample of 2,070 adults. Local communities, it found, are living up to that ideal.
Three in five of us said we feel more proud of our local communities since both the COVID-19 pandemic and protests about racial injustice began. Twenty-eight percent of us reported seeing more acts of kindness. One third have done something to thank essential workers, and 18 percent feel more grateful for their neighbors. This appreciation of local life was shared equally by urban and rural residents, by Democrats and Republicans, and by people of all races.
This was late June, when you couldn’t look at your TV or social feeds without truly bitter national arguments spoiling your day. And yet our survey showed that virtually all of us (94 percent or more!) agreed with statements of bedrock principle of what America should be about:
✦ We need to treat each other with respect.
✦ Our system of justice should treat everyone equally.
✦ We should be Americans first, before being Democrats, Republicans, or independents.
This surprising level of unity isn’t as surprising when you think about it. Those are your values, my values, values as timeless and perfect as the sky. When times are hard and we are eye to eye, they rise up. As much as we may
legitimately disagree about specific issues, we should notice that cohesion more, notice the moments and places where we feel the consideration for each other built into our collective bones—places such as Olathe, Kansas.
Olathe sits in the dead center of the nation and is home to Neelam Singhal, a chemistry professor, an immigrant from India, and the mother of an eight-year-old boy. When COVID-19 hit, her classes were no more. She wanted something to make her feel positive again. So she volunteered to create socially distanced birthday parties for children who live at KIDSTLC, an Olathe fixture founded to care for abused and neglected youth.
I happened to learn about Olathe because it’s one of the 50 Nicest Places in America, now featured at rd.com/nicest. For a boost in mood, I recommend you visit and click the virtual hands to “clap” for the honorees that move you. Olathe made me clap a lot.
Singhal is just one of 1,600 locals who volunteer to make sure the 75 children living at KIDSTLC feel listened to. The forced isolation of the pandemic has made their recovery from trauma only harder. “They’ve had so many walls they’ve put up,” says the organization’s Elizabeth Hall. The people of Olathe notice walls. “When COVID came, they said, ‘How can we help?’”
Singhal believes supporting KIDSTLC has helped her son too. By watching her and her Olathe neighbors working to care for these kids, he’s learning what matters most: that we’re all equal in God’s eyes, no matter our age, race, culture, or personal situation.
“Don’t make it complicated,” says Singhal. I imagine smiling eyes above her mask as she talks. “Just think of us as one. God is one, and we are one. And God is watching us.”
THE FINDING: LOCAL COMMUNITIES ARE KEEPING AMERICAN OPTIMISM ALIVE.