Struggling sister should get help and get going
Dear Abby: I have a hard time differentiating between enabling and just helping out my sister. Throughout her adult life, even while she was married, she has never been able to make ends meet.
She’s single now and in her 50s, a hardworking but underemployed, depressed individual. I have a good job and I feel guilty if I don’t help her each month. (She doesn’t ask, but drops enough hints that I know things aren’t going well.)
I have suggested repeatedly that she needs to find a better job. I even send her job leads, but I’m not sure she actually ever applies. My friends and relatives say I should use tough love and stop helping her. But I hate to see her struggle, and I don’t want her kicked DEAR ABBY
out of her apartment.
I will be retiring soon and won’t be able to continue giving her money. What should I do? — Sympathetic In San Diego
Dear Sympathetic: Have a frank talk with your sister NOW. Ask her how many of the leads you gave her were followed up on. Because you say she is chronically depressed, encourage her to see a doctor and find out what kind of help there is for her. It may be the reason for her divorce and for her inability to seek other work and improve her financial situation.
That you will no longer be able to continue assisting her financially is something your sister needs to know ASAP, so she won’t be cut off abruptly. This isn’t tough love; that you will be on a fixed income is a fact of life. You have been a wonderful sister. You have done more than many people would, so do not feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Frank and Ernest Born Loser Peanuts Garfield Snuffy Smith Beetle Bailey Blondie Mike Du Jour Conceptis Sudoku Sudoku is a number-placing puzzle based on a 9x9 grid with several given numbers. The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the same number only once. The difficulty level of the Conceptis Sudoku increases from Monday to Sunday.