Self forgiveness: A hard row to hoe
Read E. Lee Phillips’ column, and check out the church calendar.
It all came about in this way. Steve, in his 20s, was driving normally down a street when suddenly a little girl emerged from the curb right into the path of his car and he hit and killed her. All were devastated.
The idea of taking life from an innocent person was foreign to everything Steve stood for. He was a faithful church goer. Steve talked about it once in a sermon for he became the pastor of one of the most outstanding Baptist churches in North America, just as we predicted he would when he was in seminary.
He had been through the dark night of the soul. He recalled that the family commented on their daughter darting out into the street, “She was always doing that,” they said.
How can a Christian process this event with the promised love and watch care of God? The first step in self forgiveness is to realize the Bible teaches that God loves us and will care for us unstintingly.
We are promised presence, a presence in all of life’s joys and sorrows. We are not promised immunity.
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ. Shall tribulation or distress . ... I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus, our Lord.”
No member of Steve’s congregation can come to this pastor with a hurt greater than he has endured.
A second step in self forgiveness, indeed of all good mental health, is to reach out and help another. It is a law of life that mutual pain is reduced when shared.
Lean on God, cherish God’s promises, walk in God’s will, and reach out in love.
Some decades ago in a small western town, a girl in high school caused a wreck in which one of her girlfriends, a classmate, was killed.
I do not know all the circumstances nor how she found the faith to cope. I do not believe she has written about it in her memoirs, though write she certainly can.
There she was, an only child in a small town and feeling pretty miserable about life, but a few years elapsed and her natural warm personality and quiet ways were noticed by a newcomer, a dashing young man from a distinguished family. They dated and soon married.
In fact, he entered politics and she found herself the first lady of our land for eight years. Laura Bush was one of the most empathetic and best listeners ever to grace the White House. Wonder why? This is due in no small part to the overcoming depth of her faith tested by unintended tragedy.
We all make mistakes. Self forgiveness is a hard row to hoe, but it is doable, for no part of life is beyond the forgiveness and healing of a loving God.