Sister marrying loser needs all the support she can get
Dear Abby: My sister, “Dawn,” recently got engaged to a man I detest. They have been dating for two years. I don’t trust him, and I believe he is controlling her. He has lied to me and to my parents, and has strained Dawn’s relationship with our family by constantly making her choose between either him or us.
Dawn worked hard to earn her master’s degree and is now earning a great salary; her fiance has no education beyond high school, constantly switches jobs and uses my sister for financial support.
I have spoken to her multiple times in the past about my concerns, and at one point made it clear that I wouldn’t attend her wedding. Now that Dawn has decided to move JEANNE PHILLIPS DEAR ABBY
forward with the relationship, am I required to go? My parents, despite not supporting my sister’s marrying this man, still plan to attend and are urging me to go. I don’t think I can stomach seeing it. What do I do?
-- Opposed In New York
Dear Opposed: Go to the wedding. If this man is as awful as you say he is, your sister is going to need all of the support she can get from people who love her. One of the things that insecure, controlling men try to do is isolate their victims. Letting Dawn know that you love her and will always be there for her will make it much harder for her husband to do.
Dear Abby: What’s the appropriate response in a social situation when you’re introduced to a person you have met several times before, but they act like it’s the first time? I usually just smile and play along, but now I’m starting to feel like it’s intentional. Am I that forgettable? -- Forgettable
In Nevada
Dear Forgettable: I doubt it. My advice is to be polite. The next time it happens, smile warmly and say, “We’ve met. Nice to see you again, ‘Gloria.’” And then move on.