Suicide ‘Like a bomb going off in your life’
A prevention program on Monday aims to develop a base of support for survivors and form a network of trained professionals.
A widow shares her experiences in her book “Choosing Hope, Finding Joy.”
One of the keys to preventing suicide is to erase the stigma of depression and get people to understand that survivors are dealing with both trauma and grief, according to a woman who will share her family’s story of survival during an event Monday.
“Most people who take their lives do not seek therapy because they don’t want anyone to think they are crazy or that they are having those kind of problems,” said Sheri McGuinness, director of Georgia Suicide Prevention Action Network and author of “Choosing Hope, Finding Joy.”
The book is the story of her family’s journey through the trauma of losing a loved one — McGuinness’ husband and father of her children, Joe. Joe killed himself in 1999, and McGuinness said it was “like a bomb going off in your life.”
“It was horrific,” she said. “My children — the youngest, twins, were 9, my middle child was 12 and my oldest 19 — they were with me when I heard.”
She said she made sure her children knew what was going on.
“No secrets,” she said. “If I kept something from them, it would have been harder. Kids can handle the truth, but lying to them makes everything worse.”
McGuinness said she and her children not only experienced grief at their loss, but trauma as well.
“After the funeral, we basically went into hiding,” she said. “We were not looked at the same way after this happened. I had a counselor at one of my son’s school tell me that my husband was selfish. I was too fragile then to say what I should have said to that.”
Many friends and family turned away as well.
“It was like they thought something was wrong with us,” she said. “However, I was able to get through it, get my kids through. I had people come into my life that helped me. It led me to do the work I do now.”
McGuinness will appear at Barnes & Noble, 1442 Turner McCall Blvd., on Monday from noon to 4 p.m. to sign copies of her book. She will speak at the Wilder Center at First United Methodist Church, 202 E. Third Ave., from 6 to 7:30 p.m. Monday. Her books also will be available during this event as well. The program is free, but those wishing to attend are asked to register on the event’s website.
The event is hosted by National Alliance on Mental Illness, Rome chapter, and Healing Hearts: The Floyd County Suicide Prevention Coalition.
Part of McGuinness’ job is to travel to communities when a spike in suicides shows up on the Georgia Department of Public Health’s data site, OASIS.
“Much of what I do is
Read this story online for links to websites for Healing Hearts, Oasis and the Suicide Prevention Action Network, as well as a link to the event site to register for the Monday suicide prevention program.
create services to support families and train professionals on how to help survivors of suicide,” she said. “We travel to communities that see a rise and help them form support groups.”
She also educates people about suicide, helping them understand the true motivations, which is wide-ranging.
“Many things contribute to suicide,” she said. “When a person makes that choice, it is coming from a place of deep, dark despair and pain. It is not about wanting to leave someone, it is about stopping that pain.”
She also is trying to get people to stop saying things like “committed suicide.”
“It is an illness, not a criminal act,” McGuinness said. “When you say committed, it sounds like they are committing a crime.”
One of the hardest parts of suicide prevention is getting people to be comfortable asking for help.
“It is important that we 1:00-5:00pm • Ford Dining Hall, Berry College 2277 Martha Berry Hwy • Mt Berry, GA 30149 begin looking at mental health the same way we do physical health, it is no different,” she said. “People don’t realize that mental illness can happen to anyone, whether it is because of trauma, abuse, chemical, genetics or an overexposure to traumatic events like military or emergency personnel receive.”
Floyd County had 12 deaths from suicides in 2015, down from 13 in 2014, according to OASIS.
“It is important to remember that for every suicide, there is an average of 25 attempts,” she said. “You also have to look at the number of hospital visits and discharges of unsuccessful suicide attempts. You also have to realize that many are not reported.”
In 2014 — the last year of available data — Floyd County had 37 recorded hospital visits and discharges related to suicide attempts, according to OASIS.
“Statistically, the age group with the highest number of attempts is teenagers,” McGuinness said. “But the group with the highest number of suicides is middle-aged males. Males tend to use more lethal means.”
The numbers when it comes to teen suicides is especially troubling because according to student health survey given in the state, an average of three students per classroom in Georgia have attempted suicide in the last 12 months, she said.
“That’s not per school, that is per every classroom in every school,” she said. “And for every one youth suicide, there are up to 200 youth suicide attempts.”
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