Patience, patience, patience

You people are driving me crazy! I’m not sure where that phrase came along in my vernacular development, but I’ve been known to use it a time or two in reference to family, animals, children; you name it.

I don’t think I’ve ever used the phrase on social media, but I’ve often thought it as I stare in amazement, watching people make complete you-know-whats of themselves on the interweb.

When did we get so quick to insult and belittle each other? I’m guilty of it, too, as I have mentioned before. Nothing makes me more angry at “you people” than pulling into the grocery parking lot and dodging more carts than cars on my way to a parking spot. I mean, how are you not able to get your cart placed neatly in the corral? What could possibly require that you leave it wherever you landed for someone else to come behind you and deal with?

Of course, the last time this came up on social media I learned that mothers of young children, and the elderly, and women at night, and people with an injury all feel that it is necessary for them to not walk to the corral, so who am I to judge? But, if you are doing this just because you are too lazy to walk the extra few feet then, stop it! Why should “we people” have to make up for “you people?”

Yeah, this is a common line of thinking, and I want to know why. Have we forgotten the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you?” Or, is it possible that we believe that pointing out the faults of others is exactly how we hope they will treat us? Maybe we have all become so intent on perfection that we want people to point out when we are imperfect, and find it essential to help others in their pursuit. Yeah, I don’t think so, either.

My family, just like many others, is very good at this task. We really, really, really want each other to attain perfection and are always ready to help with carefully placed reminders to pursue it over turkey and stuffing. This reminds me of one of my other favorite ways to start a sentence: “You always … ” But, isn’t that what family is for? Maybe we should take the critique back to the dinner table and leave the random strangers of social media alone. Just a thought.

I decided to search for some tips on being more patient with others and was amazed to find that wikiHow has it all figured out for me. “How to Be Patient: 12 Steps (with pictures).” I could not possibly imagine what kinds of pictures you would use to depict developing patience, but they actually came up with a lot. You people. That is just silly. Look it up.

Silliness aside, my research took me to a study from 2007 that found that patient people are less likely to experience depression and negative emotions because they are more able to cope with stressful or upsetting situations. They also experience a greater sense of abundance and connectedness to mankind. It also found that those who are able to be more patient towards others are more hopeful and satisfied in their own lives. Which came first, I wonder? Was it the patience with others, or the satisfaction with their own situation?

There is no more perfect band name/song title combo than the Brotherhood of Man doing United We Stand from 1970. I often have that song pop into my head whenever I see people railing against each other. “United we stand, divided we fall, and if our back should ever be against the wall, we’ll be together.” I truly believe that we are arguing ourselves into a dangerous and weak corner from which we will have a hard time recovering in the face of a true threat.

The Preamble to the Constitution set the tone, reminding us of our need to work together for the common good. “We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity … ”

Maybe if we start saying “we people” more often than “you people” we can start to develop a little patience with each other. I can’t guarantee that you’re not ever going to get on my nerves, but I hope to work on being more patient when I know you are wrong, and I hope you will do the same for me. It’s the least “we” can do for each other. MONICA SHEPPARD Jim Powell of Young Harris