Be ready for the incoming storm
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The late summer afternoon thunderstorms come like clockwork to South Georgia skies. One of the signs that “hurricane season” is now upon us.
I recall past experiences with hurricanes and tropical storms, and won’t be unprepared again. Three valuable lessons I learned from previous skirmishes with these storms: 1. The television doesn’t work without power (a crushing blow); 2. To children, Monopoly game pieces are good eatin’; and 3. Hardly any TVs are battery-operated.
With that in mind, I am currently in the midst of preparations to alleviate the hellish boredom that comes with being without power, without light, without a microwave oven, without TV, DVR or AC, but with a bunch of people stuck in a hot room with nothing to do.
My wife finds these lack of modern amenities endearing — a chance to interact and be creative without the squawk of contemporary convenience.
I’d rather attempt to swallow a T-square.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my family; love being around them. But I can’t be around anybody for more than five hours at a single sitting, even myself. That’s why I take a nap every four hours.
Thus, I have prepared a listing of some things you can do during a hurricane to break up the monotony, have some fun and preserve your sanity. You are welcome in advance.
Darts. Darts don’t require any electricity. All you need is a dart and a board, and if you have children, a suit of rigid armor. While fun during the daytime, the merriment multiplies with no lighting.
Cards. If you’re stuck in the house for hours, you might as well make a buck. Break the piggy-banks, put the candles on the dining room table, and start a lengthy round of Texas Hold ’Em. (Sidenote: Most kids under 6 don’t know the rules of Texas Hold ’Em, which could be an advantage if you can find some to play.)
Contests that provoke sleep. I love sleeping during storms. Problem is, I always have all these people running around my house, yelling and stuff. The goal is: Get everybody else to sleep, too. For children, you have to wear them out. One way to do that is contests. Some surefire suggestions include: Push-up or pull-up contests (children are notoriously weak); Night boxing (a knockout is a form of sleep); Spinning contests (first kid to pass out wins!); Drinking games (warm milk laced with Benadryl).
For adults, I’d suggest the following, in order: drinking games (with or without Benadryl), then spinning contests, more drinking games, then night boxing.
Remember: If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail. Or is it the other way around?