Tee times and pink elephants

John came home Sunday after playing golf, greeted his wife Sue and asked, “What did the preacher preach on today?” “Sin,” she said. “What did he say about it?” asked John.

“Don’t do it,” Sue replied.

John asked, “Did he say leaving church early for a tee time was a sin?”

Sue answered, “No. He didn’t. He left after the last hymn. How did you play today?”

Satisfied, John said, “I played good. Beat the preacher 1 up on the last hole!”

Since the first bite of the apple, sin has been the pink elephant in the room. We try not to think about it, but our repression amplifies the image. Apple consumption is at an all-time high. Our fondness for the fruit has sensitized our palates and cultivated our taste for those Galas and McIntoshs, Detroit Reds and Fujis among the many.

We chose to elevate the apple to cliche immortality, not satisfied with resting in its nutrient sweetness. In our efforts to re-frame, re-phrase and re-package this pink elephant, we did not dare say — a sin a day keeps the doctor away.

But let’s not stop in our quest. Let’s revel in its many products — apple butter, fried pies, candied apples, cider and so on — name a computer, phone and a whole company after the tasty fruit. Adam’s first bite doesn’t seem so original anymore, does it?

Our relationship with sin is no relationship at all. Sin exudes our being as oxygen fills our lungs. Our conflict is not so complicated or misunderstood, it’s simply inconvenient. It doesn’t fit our will. It doesn’t fit God’s either.

There is a theme to our shalt nots. Each one is a theft — a theft of God’s dominion, his desire and love for us. We reason, on our own terms, an apple a day is not so bad. In the end, we want to know what God knows while our brains reject the don’t.

Somewhere along the way, in our childhood double dares, when we learned to stand on our own two feet we forgot to rely on God. As life became the wondering and wandering path, we left our dependent innocence behind us, grasping for his knowledge before he desired us to know. Hard is the manner and description my own sin evokes as I write this column. I teeter on sententiousness as I wish to say, as we all do, “I’m OK, you’re not OK.”

The culture baits my thought. Deep in my soul, I know the truth.

I read somewhere you must love God more than the sin. The Psalmist said it first, “Blessed are the people who know the joyful sound! They walk, O Lord, in the light of your countenance. In Your name, they rejoice all day long … For our shield belongs to the Lord” (Psalm 89:15, 16a, 18a). When you love the Lord all day long, who has time for pink elephants?

Sacred Heart Academy students, dressed as saints, hold a parade after attending a Mass on All Saints Day at the Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic Church in Winchester, Virginia.

Adairsville Church of God, 297 Old Dixie Highway, Adairsville, hosts Adairsville Church of God Kidz every Sunday morning at 11 a.m.

Community Chapel Baptist Church, 3773 Black’s Bluff Road, will host brotherhood breakfast on Saturday at 8 a.m. with the Rev. Robert Boatner preaching. For more information about the breakfast contact Jerry Jacobs at 706-238-9060.

Cosmopolitan United Methodist Church, 104 Mill St., Cave Spring, will celebrate 148 years of Christian service to the community on Sunday at 3 p.m. The Rev. Wendy Owens, pastor of Shady Grove United Methodist Church, will be the guest minister. A repast will begin at 1:30 p.m. For more information call Ann Johnson at 706676-4302.

Dykes Creek Baptist Church, 46 Church Road, will host their second annual fundraising turkey shoot on Nov. 11 at 10 a.m. Proceeds will benefit the church’s Football Sunday, coming in February 2018. The church will hold a Veterans Day celebration on Nov. 12 with worship at 10:30 a.m. and a Thanksgiving banquet at 6 p.m. with “Golden Oldies” by Kenny Evans. Tickets are required for the banquet. Childcare will be provided. For more information call 706-291-7790.

First Christian Church, 209 E. Second Ave., holds Sunday worship (casual/business casual dress) at 11 a.m. Sunday School meets at 10 a.m. Morning Coffee is each Thursday from 7-9 a.m. For more information contact the church office at romedisciples@gmail.com.

Greater Bethlehem Temple, 401 Nixon Ave., will celebrate homecoming Nov. 19 at noon and 4 p.m. Elder Howard Braziel will be the speaker in the morning service, and Bishop Bobby Grier will be the speaker in the evening service. For more information call Minister Paula Johnson at 706-802-8634.

Lovejoy Baptist Church, 436 Branham Ave., will hold a 30th pastoral anniversary celebration honoring Pastor Carey N. Ingram and Sister Judy Ingram on Sunday at 3 p.m. with the Rev. Bryant Steans and Springfield Baptist Church as guests.

Lyerly United Methodist Church is selling their third cookbook, “Feeding the Flock.” Cookbooks can be purchased from any church member. To receive a cookbook by mail, send $13 to Lyerly United Methodist Church, P.O. Box 152, Lyerly, GA 30730. For more information about the cookbooks call JoAnn Mitchell at 706-895-2636.

Mount Alto Baptist Church, 1915 Huffaker Road, will host a turkey shoot Nov. 11 at 11 a.m. Multiple prize shoots are planned, and a free lunch will be served. No outside ammunition, stock and extended chokes or scopes allowed. For more information call Steve Powell at 706-506-9148, Billy Carver at 706844-3724 or the church office at 706-232-6222. The church will have a Christmas bazaar with over 30 vendors, door prizes and soup on Nov. 18 at 6 p.m. Tickets are $5 in advance, $7 at the door. For tickets contact Sheila Lawler at 706-766-9880, Sheryl Powell at 706-346-5530, Mary Womack at 706-936-6968 or Roxanne Brinson at 706-346-0360.

New Corinth Missionary Baptist Church, 200 Cliff Nelson Road, Euharlee, will host the Seventh District Missionary Convention of Georgia Soul Bowl revival on Wednesday at 7 p.m. For more information contact Alberta M. Nichols at 706-512-1070 or 678773-0638.

New Life of St. John Baptist Church, 419 Walter St., will hold their annual seasonal tea on Sunday at 2:30 p.m. The New Life of St. John Senior Choir will celebrate their anniversary on Nov. 12 at 3 p.m. All choirs, praise dancers and soloists are invited to join. For more information contact Evangelist Gussie Turrentine at 706-331-1824.

The North Georgia General Missionary Baptist Association will hold First Saturday Fellowship Service with Pastor Ramon Arnold and Zion Hill First Baptist Church, 828 Martin Luther King Jr. St., Rockmart, on Saturday at 9:45 a.m.

NorthPointe Church, 30 Orchard Road, Adairsville, hosts Celebrate Recovery, a Christcentered recovery program, every Monday night. Cross Talk Cafe at 6 p.m., large group worship at 7 p.m. and open share groups at 8 p.m. Visit www. northpointechurch.com or contact Kitty at 404-642-3605 for more information.

Pisgah Baptist Church, 5603 Alabama Highway, holds prayer every Wednesday at 8:30 p.m. The church will host Brotherhood Breakfast on Saturday at 8 a.m. Pastor Brian Butler of Antioch Baptist Church will be the speaker. The church will host Shacka-thon on Nov. 24. The church is selling 1-pound bags of pecans for $10 each. Call 706-232-4431 for more information.

Pleasant Valley North Baptist Church, 735 Old Summerville Road, holds a praise and worship service Sundays at 10:45 a.m. in the fellowship hall with music by Ben Thornton and the Praise Band. A blended service is held at the same time in the sanctuary. The church will host the second annual Snowflake Ball on Dec. 2 at 5 p.m. The ball is a semiformal for individuals with special needs ages sixth grade and up. The night will include dancing, crafts and refreshments. For more information contact Sandra at 706-766-2996 or Sandra.Baggett@vikings.berry. edu or Emily at 706-766-3676 or Emily.Wallace25@uga.edu.

Rome First United Methodist Church, 202 E. First Ave., will offer one worship service on Sunday at 11 a.m. in the historic sanctuary and a fall festival following worship at noon in the Garnet M. Wilder Center.

St. Andrew’s Anglican Church, 42 Ash St., meets Sundays at 9:30 a.m. For more information call 706-506-1241.

St. Mary’s Catholic Church, 911 N. Broad St., offers Saturday vigil Masses at 5:30 p.m. in English and at 7 p.m. in Spanish; Sunday Masses are 8 a.m., 9:30 a.m. and 11 a.m. in English and at 12:30 p.m. and 2 p.m. in Spanish. Sunday Masses will be on Eastern Standard Time, clocks go back one hour on Saturday night. The parish’s annual stewardship pledge drive will begin this Ginger Perry / The Winchester Star via AP weekend; pledge envelopes may be brought to weekend Mass and put into the offertory. For additional information on any church activities or programs contact the church office at 706-290-9000 or at DeaconNeslin@smcrome. org.

St. Peter’s Episcopal Church, 101 E. Fourth Ave., offers services of Holy Eucharist at 8:30 a.m. in the chapel and 10 a.m. in the church each Sunday. A service of Holy Eucharist in Spanish is offered Sundays at 5 p.m. in the chapel. Midweek Eucharist services are held on Tuesdays at 12:15 p.m. and on Wednesdays at 5:30 p.m. in the chapel. Nursery is offered during the 10 a.m. Holy Eucharist. Children’s Chapel is also available for children ages pre-K through third grade during the 10 a.m. service. Christian formation and Sunday School are offered for children, youth and adults at 11:15 a.m. on Sundays. For more information visit www. stpetersrome.org or call 706-2919111.

Saving Our Streets will hold a winter coat drive on Saturday at Hop N’ Shop, 301 Calhoun Ave. Winter coats for children and adults will be accepted. For more information contact Minister Selahdeen Muhhammed at 706-388-0212.

Second Avenue United Methodist Church, 801 E. Second Ave., holds Sunday School at 10 a.m. and services with the Rev. Millie Kim at 11 a.m. For more information call David Gresham at 706237-7146 or visit www.2aveumc. org.

Silver Creek Presbyterian Church, 6 Old Rockmart Road, Lindale, will have fellowship breakfast at 9 a.m. Sunday School begins at 10 a.m. The Sacrament of Holy Communion will be celebrated during the 11 a.m. worship service. The Rev. Camille Josey’s sermon title is “All God’s Gifts.” The scripture passages are Deuteronomy 13:22-27. For more information call Janet Farr at 706-346-7268.

State Line Baptist Church, 8536 Black’s Bluff Road, Cave Spring, will have a fundraiser shoot Nov. 11 from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. The turkey shoot is $5 a shot and the green ham shoot is $10 a shot; 12, 16 and 20 gauge shells provided, modified or full. Choke only, no scopes. Youth rounds are age 16 and older. Proceeds will benefit the church life center. For more information call 706-777-8330.

Third Street Ministries will give away winter clothing to low income and homeless men and women in the parking lot of Rome First United Methodist Church, 202 E. Third Ave., on Saturday from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and Tuesday from 2-4 p.m.

Transfiguration Episcopal Church, 304 Coker Drive, will celebrate Holy Eucharist on Sunday at 11 a.m. On Wednesday, AlAnon will meet in the parish hall at noon and there will be a public service of healing with Eucharist at 6 p.m.

Westminster Presbyterian Church, 1941 Shorter Ave., conducts Sunday School for all ages at 9:45 a.m. Worship is held at 11 a.m. in the sanctuary. A nursery is available.

West Rome United Methodist Church, 1003 Shorter Ave., will hold services at 11 a.m. on Sunday. The sermon, “Crossing the Finish Line,” comes from Hebrews 12:1-2. For more information visit www.westromeumc. org, call 706-234-6214 or email wrumc@bellsouth.net.