Christmas traditions, drunken strangers and mistaken identity

Well everyone gathered over at Kook’s house for Christmas eve and Christmas day brunch.

Since Neeve hosted Thanksgiving, Kook got Christmas eve/ day. Her house was beautifully decorated with a tree in almost every room, it seems like. And everything had a cozy, rustic air about it which made it feel like the perfect country Christmas.

Our Christmas eve started at 2 p.m. since there are older folks who need to drive back to their homes and we didn’t want them being on the road too late.

Zoodie and Freda and Traci were there of course. They brought some delicious food as usual. Cousin Pam was there with her big Yeti cooler full of good ice and Neeve brought what I consider to be the best hashbrown casserole in the whole world.

Our tradition for Christmas eve is that we all bring a gift. Girls bring a gift for a girl and the guys bring a guy’s gift. Then we all just pick a gift and that’s the gift you keep.

I wish we would do a “dirty Santa” exchange or something a little more interesting than just keeping the present you pick, but I think the idea behind it (I’ve heard this at other events I attend as well) is that people might get their feelings hurt if their gift is eagerly given away or if no one wants to steal it.

To that I say, if you don’t want people trying to NOT get your gift, then bring a good gift. If everybody brings something good, then any game we play where we steal or swap gifts should be fun because everyone will get something good.

Oh, before I forget I need to tell y’all a story. Unrelated to Christmas. My friend Brandy from Pine Log was eating at a restaurant recently and had had a few adult beverages. Brandy’s the one who doesn’t know the word “unbeknownst” as in “unbeknownst to you” so she says “BOUNCE to you.” Anyhow, Brandy had been drinking and two men in uniform walk into the restaurant and as they approached her table Brandy stands up, faces them and proceeds to (very solemnly) salute the two men.

“Thank you for your service and for fighting for our freedoms,” she says to the men.

Well bounce to her, these men weren’t in the military.

With a straight face he said “Ma’am, we’re Delta pilots” and kept walking.

Brandy was very disappointed when they told her this and she plopped back down in her chair and consoled herself with more alcohol.

But back to Christmas. So, on Christmas day we were SUPPOSED to meet at 10 a.m. over at Kook’s but then she sends a text message saying Neeve forgot to put the casseroles in the oven so we’d start at about 10:30.

Christmas day is a smaller event with less people. The food is still amazing and there are all sorts of beverages to enjoy. Then after we eat, we sit around the big ‘ol fireplace and open all the presents.

It seems everyone’s a good giftgiver in that family. Everyone gives really thoughtful presents, especially Julie who always seems to come up with the coolest or funniest gifts.

This year she gave me bourbon scented toiletries (she knows I’m a huge fan of bourbon), some really comfortable pajamas and a drink koozie with Star Wars character Chewbacca wearing a bandana tied in front and it said “Tupacca.” She also gave Kook some socks that said “I’m a delicate F#*%$$ flower.”

But, of course it’s not about the presents. It’s about getting together under one roof and enjoying each other. It’s about making fun of Julie for always being late and for trying to get Barton to interact with other human beings for more than three minutes before he withdraws into a psychological vault from whence there’s no return. It’s about the delicious food and the laughter.

And we were blessed with an unexpected visit of sorts. Last year, Neeve sent out a mass text to several family members and inadvertently included a phone number that hasn’t been in the family for years. It’s owned by a person we know only as DRUNKEN STRANGER. So ever since then, he has kept in touch with us, responding now and again via group message and sends funny photos of copious amounts of alcohol at his house. We don’t know him from Adam’s house cat but he apparently drinks a LOT and has a great sense of humor. Communicating with him (whoever he may be) is now sort of a holiday tradition for us.

He texted and wished us all a Merry Christmas and sent us photos of all the presents under his tree. Most of them were bottles of alcohol. Judging from clues in his photos, we believe he lives in Adairsville but his identity is still a mystery.

But anyway, I hope you and your family had a very merry Christmas and I hope that the Kooks and the Neeves in YOUR life are doing well. I hope that YOUR Esom Hill (wherever it may be) is still a warm, loving place filled with family and laughter and I hope that if there’s a drunken stranger in your life, that he keeps things interesting. SEVERO AVILA Jim Powell of Young Harris