Newly out teenage girl wants the support of her dismissive mother
Dear Abby: I’m a 17year-old girl and recently came out to my parents, who are stuck in the “it’s just a phase” mindset. I used to be able to talk with my mom about everything, but now when I talk about my sexuality, she gets quiet and dismissive. It’s frustrating. I understand I’m still young and learning things about myself, but I feel like I don’t have their support as much as I used to.
Help! — Needs Support In New Mexico Dear Needs Support: What your mother may not realize is that children usually know they are gay long before they find the courage to talk about it. Young people who receive negative messages about what it means to be gay are — not surprisingly — less likely to be open about their sexuality because they don’t want to disappoint or be negatively judged.
You might be able to talk more effectively with your parents if you contact PFLAG and get some information. The website is pflag.org.
Dear Abby: How do you deal with family members who always insist they are right and you are wrong?
If their beliefs are 180 degrees different from your own, must you just grit your teeth and keep your mouth shut?
How do you get them to respect you for the adult you are (they are only five years older), or is it even worth it? — Fuming In Florida
Dear Fuming: Sometimes the wiser course of action is to win the war by forgoing the battle. With people like this, steer the conversation toward subjects you can agree upon. If you can manage that, family harmony will become easier to achieve, and respect will follow.