Visits with parents bring tears to daughter’s eyes because of odors

Dear Abby: My parents live a simple life, enjoying their days as retirees. They invite me to join them for special occasions at their house and although the house is organized and tidy, I become ill when I spend more than a few hours under their roof.

Their cleaning practices are questionable. They simply rinse plates and utensils after use, as opposed to using the dishwasher. Within an hour of arriving, the dust makes my allergies and asthma flare up. They prefer to launder clothes, sheets, blankets, etc. only occasionally out of concern about “wasting water” and money. Their dog and cat have urinated throughout the house, and my parents claim to not be able to smell it.

I don’t want to hurt their feelings by declining their invitations, but I can’t stand to get sick every time I walk through their door. Help!

— Sneezing In The Suburbs

Dear Sneezing: You’re right, you can’t. That’s why it’s time to speak up and tell your parents your allergies flare up when you visit their house.

Dear Abby: My husband and I will soon celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary. It bothers me increasingly that he doesn’t wear a wedding ring. He says a ring bothers him when he is working, but he has been retired for most of our marriage. He wears a chain with two pendants as well as a large gold bracelet every day. I’m not worried about him being unfaithful. I just like the way a ring looks and makes me feel. Advice?

— Symbolic In Florida

Dear Symbolic: You have been married for 32 years. Not every man is comfortable wearing a ring. My advice is to stop obsessing, let it go.