Husband’s dramatic weight loss is the source of gossip and concern

Dear Abby: My husband has lost a significant amount of weight over a very short period of time. He isn’t on drugs and eats well. I have begged him to see a doctor. He has come up with a variety of excuses and reasons why he has lost the weight. First it was because he was stressed at work. Then it was because he was stressed at home. Now he says he just needs to eat and exercise more, but he’s “SOOO busy,” but he’ll start eventually.

It has become a problem for several reasons. One, all the church ladies have concluded that I don’t cook at home (which I do). Two, he looks so ill and malnourished that people are asking me if he is on drugs (he has been tested at work, and this is not the case). Three, friends and family are deeply concerned but scared to approach him about his health because he swears he feels fine and is actually doing wonderfully.

Abby, I love my husband. He’s a good man, although he can sometimes be stubborn and closedminded. I’m terrified that he’s dying of cancer and he’s going to leave me a single mom. I can no longer discuss the subject of weight with him because he gets extremely defensive and says I should just give him time to get back to how he was. How long do I give him?

— Alarmed In Louisiana

Dear Alarmed: Some people foolishly avoid going to the doctor because they are afraid of what they will hear. You SHOULD be alarmed because your husband’s sudden, unexplained, prolonged weight loss can be a symptom of a life-threatening illness.

This is not a question of how or how well you cook, or whether your husband is on drugs. It is a question of you alerting his doctor, explaining what’s going on.