Couple does not want ill-behaved niece at their son’s graduation party

Dear Abby: My husband and I want to host a college graduation party for our son. The problem is, one of my sisters has four children — three teenagers and an 11-yearold who doesn’t behave at parties. My sister calls her “Our Little Precious.” She and her husband come to events, ignore the kids and want this to be their time to “relax.” Another sister has two teenagers who are very well behaved. My husband wants to ban Little Precious from the graduation party and invite the wellbehaved teenagers. I agree with my husband that I do not want another party ruined, especially since my son worked so hard to graduate. But I don’t want to cause a permanent rift in the family either. Advice?

— Sister in the Middle

Dear Sister: Your son deserves to celebrate the milestone he has earned without the distraction of an unruly child casting a shadow over the event. Consider having a small gathering for immediate family only, and something larger at another time that includes your son’s friends as well as your own. Or invite your sister and her family with the proviso that if Little Precious acts up, they will leave and take her home. Precious, my foot!

Dear Abby: An acquaintance has a grooming problem I’m reluctant to tell him about because I don’t know him well: He has hairs growing out of his nose, and they are not only noticeable but distracting. How can I apprise him of this without embarrassing him and myself?

— Diplomat in San Francisco

Dear Diplomat: Allow me to answer that question by quoting an ancient Chinese proverb: “When in doubt, do nothing.” While your intent is to be helpful, it would cause embarrassment.