Son will not accept mother’s new relationship with old family friend

Dear Abby: I was married for more than 20 years and am recently divorced. I should have done it years ago, but my son, “Nicky,” begged me not to. He’s 22.

I am now dating a gentleman, “Clyde,” and am very happy to be in this relationship. Clyde treats me like a queen. I have known him longer than I’ve known my exhusband. He and his family are close friends.

Before we started dating, Clyde called my ex, told him we were going to start seeing each other and that he wanted my ex to hear it from him, not through the rumor mill. My ex said he was fine with it and thanked him for letting him know.

We then informed Clyde’s kids and my son. Everyone was fine with it except Nicky. He’s upset that we started dating three months after my divorce. Mind you, my marriage to Nicky’s father was over years ago. Clyde had nothing to do with it. Now my son has an “attitude” with Clyde. He hardly speaks to him and never spends time with us.

I have always been there for Nicky. His actions hurt.

He can’t seem to accept that I’m happy and that Clyde and I are more than friends now. Before we started dating, Nicky and Clyde had a good relationship. How do I get my son to come around?

— Second Chance

in Michigan

Dear Second Chance: Nicky may be hoping that you and his father might one day reconcile and regard Clyde as an interloper. Explain to him that the divorce may seem recent to him, but for you and his dad, it was the final step in disengaging from a marriage that had been over for years. Tell him you love him and are sorry he is upset, but it’s no excuse for treating Clyde badly, and you expect him to treat Clyde with respect.