Reader’s husband reconnects with ex-wife after 50 years of separation

Dear Abby: My husband has reconnected with an ex-wife from more than 50 years ago. He found her on Facebook. They chat every day, several times a day.

Before he reconnected with her, he would talk about her, how she was his first love and he would always have a special place for her in his heart, even though she cheated on him and left him. Now he has begun calling her a pet name he used to call me. Is this cheating, or am I overreacting?

— Betrayed in Ohio

Dear Betrayed: You are not overreacting. Your husband is involved in an emotional affair. For the sake of your marriage, it needs to stop. If he won’t accept it from you, perhaps he will listen to his religious adviser, a marriage counselor or your lawyer. Do not try to fight this alone; you may need their help along the way.

Dear Abby: My husband of 63 years died three years ago. He was sexually abused by a family friend when he was very young and never disclosed it. He shared it with me some 20 years after our marriage and asked me not to tell our four children.

At some point, I shared it with my grown daughter, but not my three grown sons. Was I wrong to do this? My daughter feels I should tell them, and I sort of agree. Their relationship with their father was loving, but also strained. Should I tell them now or let it be?

— Unsure in Michigan

Dear Unsure: I agree with your daughter. Because the sexual abuse your husband suffered may have affected the relationship he had with your sons, it might be helpful if they understand the reason why it was the way it was. Sunshine on dark places can yield positive outcomes.