Moving closer to family requires that couple make a choice between sons

Dear Abby: My wife and I have a dilemma we don’t know how to handle. We both recently retired. Our sons live in other states. Since my wife and I no longer have family here, we are going to move close to one of our sons. Our dilemma: They both want us to move near them, but they are 2,000 miles apart.

We have decided where we would like to go and found a home to purchase. How do we tell our other son why we moved where we did? He’s going to be very hurt and feel that we favor his brother, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Both are financially stable (as are my wife and I), so that is not an issue. How do we tell one we picked the other?

— Nearby in California

Dear Nearby: Do not tell either brother that you picked the one you did. You chose a LOCATION.

Why did you arrive at the decision you did? Make a list of the reasons you made your choice and recite them when you are asked. You are all adults.

Dear Abby: Seven years ago, I found out my husband hadn’t paid our mortgage and credit card bills for more than two years, and our home of 23 years was in preforeclosure. Once the secret was out, we managed to save the house (thankfully).

Problem is, I no longer trust my husband and often doubt what he says.

Now I am no longer sure I want to stay with him. I want to leave, but I’m scared I am making the wrong decision. Help, please.

— Mixed Up in Massachusetts

Dear Mixed Up: Because I have no idea why your husband behaved so irresponsibly, you need to hash this out with a licensed marriage and family therapist. You should also consult an attorney.